Magazine

A scattered pile of wooden blocks on a living room rug next to a coffee cup

Analog QA Testing: Why I Replaced The Flashing Toys With Wood

It was exactly 3:14 AM when my bare heel made contact with the plastic singing cow. I was holding a half-asleep eleven-month-old, navigating the dark hallway by memory, when 180 decibels of synthesized banjo music erupted from the floorboards. The...

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A wooden baby gym and pacifier clip sitting on an organic cotton swaddle

A letter to my pregnant self about newborn clutter and tiny things

I'm writing this to you from the floor of the nursery. It's 2 a.m. in Chicago, the radiator is hissing, and I'm staring at a pile of miniature laundry that somehow multiplies when I blink. You're probably six months pregnant...

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A wooden baby play gym set with crochet hanging toys against a white background

The Baby Steps Game Disaster and How to Actually Teach Walking

It was somewhere around 3:17 in the morning, a time that I'm increasingly convinced exists solely to punish parents for their past life choices. Maya, the slightly more reasonable of my two-year-old twin daughters, was fast asleep in her cot,...

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A partially unwrapped chocolate peanut nougat candy bar next to a toddler silicone bib.

Dear Me: The Truth About Giving A Baby Ruth Candy Bar To A Toddler

October 31st, 11:30 PM. The kid is finally asleep. You're sitting on the living room floor surrounded by a mountain of plastic pumpkin loot. You unwrap a baby ruth candy bar. You look at it. You think about how your...

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Exhausted dad holding coffee while his 11-month-old plays on an organic polar blanket

Why Raising an 11-Month-Old Feels Like Having a Baby Polar Bear

At 3:14 AM last Tuesday, I found myself sitting on the nursery floor in the dark, bathed in the blue light of my phone, holding a sleeping 11-month-old who currently weighs as much as a medium-sized microwave. My browser history...

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A tired dad looking at his smartphone while holding a confused baby in a nursery.

Surviving the Pretty Little Baby Connie Francis TikTok Trend

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the nursery was running at an good 69.4 degrees Fahrenheit. I know this because I check the smart thermostat logs when I can't sleep, which is always. My wife was standing in...

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A baby wearing a slightly too small designer polo shirt while playing on a playmat

The Real Truth About Ralph Lauren Baby: Are Tiny Polos Worth It?

I was standing over my kitchen sink at 6:42 AM on a Tuesday, wearing fleece sweatpants I had definitely slept in for three consecutive nights, frantically scrubbing bright orange sweet potato mash out of a pristine, white cable-knit sweater. It...

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Mom sitting on living room floor surrounded by baby feeding gear and wooden toys.

The Truth Behind the Sugar Baby Movie Hype for Modern Parents

Dear Past Jess, It's two in the morning, and I'm currently sitting on the floor of our living room here in rural Texas, staring at a laundry basket that looks like it's actively reproducing. I'm peeling a mysterious, crusty substance...

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Tom Selleck holding an infant next to modern safe sleep cot guidelines

Watching Three Men And A Baby At 3AM Will Not Calm Your Nerves

Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the sofa in the pitch dark. It's 3:14 AM. You have one twin asleep on your left shoulder, drooling a thick, milky substance onto your only clean t-shirt, and the...

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