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healthinfant healthparenting humourtwinswinter
A tired dad holding a sick baby wrapped in a squirrel print organic cotton blanket in a dimly lit nursery.

The Midnight Whistle: Surviving The RS Virus With Twin Babies

It was a Tuesday, precisely 3:14 AM, and Florence was making a noise that sounded suspiciously like a broken penny whistle trapped inside a damp accordion. I was standing in the dark of the nursery, wearing a t-shirt stained with...

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A chaotic living room floor covered in toddler toys and half-eaten rice cakes

Rihanna A AP Rocky Third Baby: The Madness of Three Under Four

It was 7:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was attempting to pry a half-sucked rice cake from the iron grip of twin A, while twin B was vigorously trying to feed a wet wipe to the cat. My phone...

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A toddler holding a very realistic silicone baby doll by the leg

A letter to myself before buying real life baby dolls for twins

Dear Tom from six months ago. You're currently standing at the kitchen island at 11:42 PM, holding a Stanley knife, staring at a cardboard box that just arrived from a specialty toy retailer. When you slice through that packing tape...

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Tired dad holding twin baby girls while trying to read a parenting book

My Fictional Gangster Baby Daddy and the Reality of Co-Parenting

When we first found out we were having twins, the unsolicited advice arrived with the speed and aggression of a flock of London pigeons spotting a dropped chip. Three different people gave me entirely contradictory instructions on how to handle...

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Tired dad holding a smartphone while twin toddlers play in the background

The Mason Disick Baby Hoax and My Massive Digital Parenting Panic

My mum told me on Tuesday that if I ever post another photo of the girls online, criminals on the dark web will steal their identities and open credit cards in their names. A bloke I vaguely know from the...

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6-month-oldBaby-Led WeaningfeedinghumourSolid Food & Finger Foodtwins
Twin girls covered in sweet potato puree sitting in highchairs at the kitchen table

When Do Babies Start Eating Baby Food? A Twin Dad's Messy Guide

Dear Tom of eighteen months ago, You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3am, staring at a very expensive, totally unused baby food maker, frantically typing misspelled queries like "when do I feed my babi" into your phone with one...

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baby toysearly developmenteducational toysparenting humourtwins
A baby playing with a wooden play gym on a living room rug while a tired dad holds a cup of coffee.

Lil Baby Harvard: Raising a tiny genius without losing your mind

Within forty-eight hours of bringing the twins home, I received three distinct pieces of unsolicited advice regarding their future intellectual dominance. My mother-in-law arrived with a set of high-contrast Mandarin flashcards (I speak passable French; my wife speaks sarcasm). Our...

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Tired dad looking at a baby photo album surrounded by baby toys

The hilariously chaotic quest to find a safe lil baby album

I was sitting in the dark at half past midnight on a Tuesday, entirely covered in what I deeply hoped was just pureed parsnip from dinner, trying to complete a simple parental task. The twins, Florence and Matilda, had finally...

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4-month-oldbaby teethingburnoutmental healthparenting humourtwins
Exhausted dad holding two screaming twin babies in a messy London kitchen.

Surviving the "Kill Me Baby" Phase Without Losing Your Mind

It's 3:14 in the morning and I'm standing barefoot in the kitchen, perfectly balanced on a rogue piece of Duplo that's currently attempting to pierce my heel bone. Twin A is upstairs executing a flawless impression of a faulty car...

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