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Why The Wrong Infant Play Mat Will Ruin Your Tuesday Afternoon
It was 2:14 PM on a particularly bleak, rain-lashed London Tuesday, and a plastic, primary-coloured toucan was aggressively singing a distorted, tinny version of βLa Cucarachaβ while swinging precisely three inches above my daughterβs nose. I was sitting on the...
Surviving the Night with a Baby Rassel: Why Simple Toys Win
The digital clock on the microwave glared at me in aggressive, glowing red numbers: 3:14 AM. I was standing barefoot in a puddle of something unidentifiable (let's optimistically call it water) while holding a screaming two-year-old who was currently producing...
Why I Was Completely Wrong About Rasseln FΓΌr Babys As A New Dad
It was Tuesday at roughly 4:12 PM, and my living room looked like a warehouse explosion at a brightly colored plastics factory. I was sitting on the rug holding a neon green plastic hippo. I shook it. It emitted a...
How I Finally Found a Play Activity Mat That Did Not Drive Me Crazy
When I was pregnant with my oldest, Tucker, I swear everybody had a loud opinion on where exactly the baby was supposed to exist when I wasn't holding him. My grandmother told me to just throw a handmade quilt on...
Safe Baby Dice: Why We Banned Regular D&D Sets At Home
Tuesday night, 8:43 PM. I'm wearing yoga pants permanently stained with breastmilk and a three-day-old messy bun that's defying gravity. My husband, Dave, is mid-sentence explaining how his half-elf rogue is going to pick the lock on the dungeon door,...
My chaotic journey to the perfect Holz Steckspiel toy
It was 3:14 in the morning. I was wearing a pair of yoga pants that had a mysterious, crusty yogurt stain on the left thigh and an oversized t-shirt that belonged to my husband, Dave. I was carrying my then-11-month-old...
Botanical Interests Organic Lettuce Mesclun Gourmet Baby Seed
I was standing in aisle four of the Pearl District Whole Foods, aggressively cross-referencing a bag of pre-washed spinach with the CDCβs active E. coli outbreak database on my phone, while my eleven-month-old actively tried to lick the shopping cart...
Real Paint Adventures vs That Homestuck MSPFA Internet Trap
I was up to my elbows in plain Greek yogurt and beet juice, desperately trying to whisk together a Pinterest-perfect non-toxic finger paint, when my oldestβlet's just call him Baby M for this story, though he's five now and a...