Magazine

Dad looking confused at a complicated modern travel system in the rain

The Mobile Sleep Unit: What I Got Wrong About Baby Transport

The rain is coming down sideways in the Trader Joe's parking lot, and I'm standing next to the open trunk of my Subaru, violently jiggling the folding mechanism of a twelve-hundred-dollar rolling chassis while my eleven-month-old screams from the backseat...

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Twin babies covered in healthy smash cake frosting on their first birthday

The Great First Birthday Smash Cake Disaster (And What I Learned)

There's a specific, deeply unsettling textural horror to finding mashed avocado and coconut cream crusted into your left eyebrow three hours after the guests have gone home. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, picking dried oat flour...

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Dad trying to put a shirt on a squirming 11-month-old boy

Debugging the baby boy wardrobe: A first-time dad’s logs

My thumb was actively bleeding. It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, rain was aggressively battering our Portland bedroom window, and I was locked in a physical struggle with a tiny, angry, poop-covered human. The adversary was a rigid denim...

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Twin toddler girls playing a video game while wearing organic cotton clothing

Searching for baby bowser: Screen time, hair bows, and pure panic

It was 6:14 on a Tuesday morning, a time when civilized society is safely asleep, but my living room looked like the aftermath of a minor coup. Twin A (Mia) was clutching the Nintendo Switch controller to her chest like...

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A fussy baby girl sitting on a blanket trying to pull a large pink bow off her head

The Truth About Baby Bows (And The Red Marks They Leave)

I was standing in the middle of a dusty Texas bluebonnet patch off Highway 290, sweating completely through my shirt while my four-month-old screamed like a tiny, furious baby Bowser. She was thrashing around, clawing at her own head, trying...

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A stressed millennial mom drinking coffee while a toddler pulls on her leg

What The Baby Boom Years Actually Taught Me About Motherhood

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently hiding in the downstairs half-bath. It's Tuesday, 4:13 PM. You're wearing those black maternity leggings that you definitely shouldn't still be wearing because Leo is four years old, and there's a...

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Close up of a sleeping newborn baby's tiny hand resting on a soft blue blanket.

The Truth About Baby Blue Nails: When to Panic and When to Chill

Maya was exactly three weeks old, and we were sitting in a freezing local coffee shop because I had reached a level of sleep deprivation where I physically needed to be around other adult humans or I was going to...

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Exhausted mom holding a fussy newborn over her shoulder while looking at a cold cup of coffee

The Honestly Messy Truth On How To Burp A Baby Without Tears

Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on your sister’s hideous beige microfiber sectional at 3:14 AM. You're wearing your husband Mike’s stained college sweatpants from 2008, the ones with the hole in the left knee. There's...

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A tired dad holding a silicone cow teether in a London flat

How I Survived the Great Highland Cow Baby Obsession of 2024

I'm currently sitting in the corner of a semi-detached flat in Zone 3 London, making intense eye contact with a six-foot plush Scottish bovine. It has more hair than I do, takes up roughly the same square footage as a...

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