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How I Finally Learned To Say Don't Worry Baby To My Own Brain
I was hunched over the bassinet at 3:14 AM with my phone flashlight covered by two of my fingers, desperately counting the seconds between my oldest son's breaths. I had convinced myself that because he paused his breathing for seven...
What the Dijon Baby Album Got Right About New Parent Anxiety
It was 2:13 AM, and my husband was sitting on the edge of the bathtub just staring at the tile grout while our oldestβwho's basically a walking cautionary tale for why you shouldn't blindly trust anything you read in a...
The brutal reality of raising a velcro baby and keeping your sanity
Listen. It was two in the afternoon on a Tuesday in mid-February. The Chicago wind was rattling the apartment windows, and I had needed to empty my bladder since ten that morning. Dev was asleep, heavily draped across my chest...
My First Kid's Face Looked Like a Pizza: What Causes Baby Acne
I was sitting on my living room floor surrounded by beige tulle, two ignored piles of laundry, and absolute mounting panic. I was trying to wrestle my oldestβwho's now five and still my primary cautionary tale for everythingβinto a perfectly...
The 3 AM Teething Triage: Surviving the First Tooth
It was three in the morning, mid-January in Chicago, and the wind was howling off Lake Michigan. My toddler was thrashing in her crib like she was possessed, her sleep sack completely saturated with drool. I stood there running through...
Why Do Babies Wear Helmets? A Letter To My Freaking Out Past Self
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting cross-legged on the dusty attic floor. You're wearing Dave's old college hoodie that smells intensely of damp cardboard, and you're literally crying into a plastic storage bin of Leo's outgrown...
The Truth About Taylor Swift and the Pressure on Women to Have Kids
When I was twenty-nine, I was sitting in a aggressively air-conditioned Starbucks wearing leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since Tuesday, crying into a venti iced macchiato because I had just received three completely conflicting pieces...
The Truth About Custom Baby Onesies: A Letter To My Past Self
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. It's October 14th, 2:13 AM, and you're sitting on the very edge of the living room rug, wearing those disgusting gray fleece college sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left knee...
Why I Stopped Forcing Aesthetic Crafts and Let My Kids Make a Mess
Dear Jess from six months ago, I'm writing to you from the future, and you need to drop the organic sweet potato puree, step away from the canvas, and take a deep breath. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor...