Magazine

A bewildered dad holding a coffee while looking at a smartphone screen.

The Baby Gronk Illusion and What It Means for Normal Parents

It was exactly 5:43 AM. I was sitting on a suspiciously sticky silicone weaning mat on the living room floor, clutching a lukewarm cup of instant coffee, watching a young boy push a weighted metal sled across an astroturf field...

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A tired twin dad holding two babies who are chewing on their organic cotton clothes.

The Great Baby Myth And Other Delightful Lies We Tell New Parents

At precisely 3:14 AM on a rainy Tuesday, while scraping what I desperately hoped was mashed sweet potato off the nursery ceiling, I realised the central lie of modern parenting. Before the twins arrived, well-meaning relatives and aggressively pastel-coloured books...

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A tired parent staring blankly at a tin of baby formula in a dark kitchen

The Brutal Truth About Choosing a Baby Formula for Your Infant

The biggest myth in modern parenting is that the price tag on a tin of powdered milk directly correlates to how much you love your child. I used to believe this. Before the twins arrived, I assumed that unless a...

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A tired father attempting to feed twin babies who are covered in orange purΓ©e

The great purΓ©e delusion: Surviving the transition to solids

I'm staring at forty-two perfectly uniform, ice-cube-sized blocks of steamed organic courgette, all painstakingly decanted into a premium silicone freezer tray at one in the morning. This was my Everest. I had spent an entire Sunday boiling, blending, and portioning...

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A pregnant woman holding a tiny baby aspirin pill while sitting next to a very confused dad holding a teething panda toy.

Why Baby Aspirin Was The Biggest Shock Of Our Twin Pregnancy

We were sitting in windowless room 4 at our local NHS Trust, breathing in the very specific scent of industrial floor cleaner and ultrasound gel, when our consultant casually slid a prescription across the desk. My wife was exactly twelve...

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A very tired British dad staring blankly at a pile of wooden baby crib parts and hex keys on the nursery floor.

The Great Baby Crib Survival Guide (And Mistakes I Actually Made)

I was sitting on the nursery floor at precisely 2:14 in the morning, a hex key clamped between my teeth, watching Twin A actively try to consume a wooden dowel while I wept quietly over a set of Swedish assembly...

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A very tired dad holding two crying babies while trying to drink cold coffee

Surviving the "Pretty Little Baby" Illusion (And Other Newborn Real...

I'm standing in the poorly lit postnatal ward of a central London hospital, staring at what looks like two furious, bruised potatoes. My wife is completely unconscious, having just performed a biological miracle that looked exactly like a medical emergency,...

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A tired father staring suspiciously at a glowing formula machine in a dark kitchen.

Surviving the Midnight Baby Brezza Machine Calibration Panic

At exactly 3:14 AM, the kitchen floor tiles felt roughly like the surface of Hoth, and I found myself staring with murderous intent at a blinking red light on a piece of plastic that cost more than my first car....

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Twin baby girl in organic cotton onesie commando crawling toward a dog bowl

The Exact Moment My Twin Girls Decided to Become Fully Mobile

I was halfway through a tepid mug of Yorkshire tea when I heard the distinct sound of a skull making soft, rhythmic contact with cheap Swedish MDF. It was Tuesday, approximately 10:14 AM, and Mia had finally discovered how to...

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