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The Chili's Parking Lot Blowout: A Real Guide to Baby T-Shirts
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Honda CR-V in a Chili's parking lot, staring at my four-month-old firstborn, Carter, and seriously contemplating just leaving my favorite diaper bag in the car and walking home. It was 98...
Beissringe Silikon: The Ugly Truth About Teething Advice
Let's rewind to Maya at four months old. I was wearing a gray nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, and it had this weird yellow yogurt stain on the left strap that I had completely given...
Why our pediatrician vetoed the freezer and pushed a beissring holz
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in front of the open freezer in my boxers, holding a bright blue plastic hippo filled with mystery gel. Our eleven-month-old son was in the other room, screaming like...
The Great Wool Disaster: Surviving a Ridiculous Baby Knit Set
The clock on the microwave said 3:14 AM, and the smell hit me before I even reached the landing. It was that distinct, metallic, sweet-yet-horrific scent of a total nappy failure. In the cot, Matilda was standing up, gripping the...
Dear past Priya: Drop the toxic gel teething ring right now
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently standing barefoot on the cold kitchen tile at three in the morning. The refrigerator compressor is humming, and your son is doing that raspy, exhausted whimpering thing that makes you feel like...
The Chicken Bone Incident: Unpacking the Food Teethers Trend
I'm staring at my son, who's currently aggressively making out with a stripped chicken drumstick bone. My wife, Sarah, handed it to him exactly four minutes ago. I'm hovering three inches away, sweat pooling in the collar of my Portland...
Dear Past Me: Surviving the Great Cozy Legging Winter Crisis
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently standing in the hallway holding a miniature pair of stiff, dark-wash denim jeans. You have a lukewarm coffee balancing precariously on the radiator, and you're sweating profusely as Maya and Isla do...
The Ridiculous Truth About Organic Cotton Socks for Tiny Feet
My left arm is currently wedged shoulder-deep inside the rubber gasket of our Bosch washing machine, fishing for a piece of fabric the size of a tea bag. Maya is howling from the nursery because her left foot is cold,...
The utter chaos of dressing twins in retro kids clothes
My mother-in-law practically kicked our front door off its hinges last Tuesday to hand me a bin bag full of highly flammable, heavily synthetic 1984 baby rompers that my wife apparently wore, insisting the twins needed to wear them immediately....