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Tired dad holding a swaddled infant looking at his phone in a dark nursery

When Does the Newborn Phase Actually End? A Dad's Late-Night Dive

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was holding a grunting, scrunching potato in the glow of my smartphone while the Portland rain hammered against the nursery window. We were exactly 32 days into this whole parenthood experiment....

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Mother sitting in dark nursery holding a crying baby.

The Late Night Triage Guide for When Your Baby Won't Stop Crying

The radiator in our Chicago apartment was hissing that metallic, rhythmic sound it only makes in mid-February. My son was exactly six weeks old and screaming so hard his face was the color of a bruised eggplant. I spent six...

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Tired mom holding a ruined baby daisy patterned bodysuit in a dark nursery

The 3 AM hostage negotiation and the baby daisy aesthetic

The digital clock on the dresser said 3:14 AM. The wind coming off Lake Michigan was rattling the bedroom window, but that wasn't what woke me. It was the distinct, unmistakable sound of a bodily fluid breaching containment. I stood...

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baby developmentfourth trimesterinfant caremotherhoodparenting humor
Sleep deprived mom sitting on the floor holding a crying newborn baby wrapped in a black and white striped zebra blanket

The Real Baby Definition: Throwing Out The Dictionary Right Now

I was sitting on the floor of my bathroom at 2:14 AM wearing a deeply stained gray nursing bra and exactly one sock, aggressively typing "baby definition" into my phone with my left thumb while Maya, who was exactly five...

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Tired London dad holding two crying twin girls in a dark kitchen

Welcome to the Baby Baby Baby Echo Chamber of Twin Parenting

I was standing in our galley kitchen at 4:13 in the morning, holding an electric kettle that I hadn't bothered to plug in, staring blankly at the wall while a rhythmic, pulsing chant echoed from the monitor clipped to my...

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baby sleepfourth trimestermotherhoodnewbornorganic cottonparenting humor
Tired mom holding a fussy baby in a messy living room

Why the All Day Baby Phase Will Break You and Rebuild You

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a half-eaten cold Pop-Tart while swaying aggressively in the dark. My oldest, who's now five and a walking cautionary tale for why we don't negotiate with terrorists, was...

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Exhausted mom in a messy living room holding a crying newborn

Surviving the Fourth Trimester: When Your Newborn Owns You

I was wearing a nursing bra that smelled aggressively of sour milk and my husband Dave’s old college sweatpants with a mysterious crusty patch on the knee, standing in the kitchen at 3:17 AM swaying like a seasick sailor. Maya...

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Tired mom staring at an expensive plush baby cushion on the living room floor surrounded by unfolded laundry.

The Messy, Scary Truth About Your Favorite Baby Lounger Pillow

I was sitting cross-legged on my living room rug at three in the morning, aggressively taping up a stack of cardboard boxes for my Etsy shop, when I finally felt my shoulders drop. My oldest son, who was exactly twenty-two...

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Tired mother sitting in dim nursery holding a sleeping infant

Notes to myself six months ago on surviving the baby M phase

It's 3:14 in the morning and you're staring at the glow of the humidifier like it holds the answers to the universe. Outside, the Chicago wind is rattling the bedroom window, but inside, all you can hear is the frantic,...

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