Searching For A Plug In Baby: The Truth About Newborn Soothing
It was Tuesday, somewhere around 3:14 AM, and I was standing in the middle of our dark nursery wearing my husband Daveβs stained college sweatpants, smelling entirely like sour milk and absolute defeat. Leo was two weeks old and he...
A Late-Night Letter to Myself Before Baby Number Three Arrives
I see you sitting there in the dark. It's 2:14 AM, your giant eight-months-pregnant belly is hopelessly wedged into the armrests of the nursery glider, and the blue light from your phone screen is illuminating the tired bags under your...
Orbit Baby G5 Stroller: A Letter to My Exhausted Past Self
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently standing in the Jewel-Osco parking lot on Southport. The wind is doing that thing where it physically hurts your face. Your C-section incision feels like it's unzipping, and you're contorting your spine...
Surviving Wedding Season Postpartum in a Sachin and Babi Dress
My mother-in-law told me to wear a loose silk sari and just pin the pallu strategically. My best friend told me to squeeze into medical-grade shapewear and a slip dress so I'd feel like my old pre-baby self. My postpartum...
Saline Drops for Babies: Surviving the Midnight Snot Triage
The baby monitor is a liar. It amplifies every rustle of a sleep sack until it sounds like a break-in. But at two in the morning, the sound that actually pulls you from your REM cycle is the death rattle....
The 3am SIDS Baby Panic and Why Nobody Actually Sleeps Anymore
I'm standing over the cot at 3:14 AM. I'm holding my wife's Β£30 MAC compact mirror. I'm sliding it slowly under the tiny nostrils of Twin A, holding my own breath while I wait for the minuscule fog of condensation...
Surviving the Messy Truth of the Suki Waterhouse Baby Era
I was exactly four days postpartum with my oldest, wedged awkwardly between the toilet and the bathtub in my rural Texas house, trying to angle my phone so the giant hospital-grade pad wouldn't show in the mirror. I had seen...
Why outfitting a newborn baby boy feels like a hostage negotiation
It was day four. I was sleep-deprived to the point of mild hallucinations, standing over the changing pad in the dark. I unzipped his fleece sleeper, and a perfect arc of warm urine hit me directly in the collarbone. That...
My Gangster Baby Daddy Pampers Me To Paradise: Real Dad Take
"Just let her sleep when the baby sleeps," my mom told me over FaceTime, which is mathematically impossible unless I also figure out how to sleep when the baby sleeps, and then who exactly is watching the dog or paying...