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The Happiest Baby Guide for Exhausted, Sleep-Deprived Parents
It was 3:17 AM in the dead of a humid Texas summer, and I was standing in my living room wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk, doing frantic deep knee bends while aggressively hissing into my...
Surviving the Hell Baby Phase When You Are Running on Empty
The microwave clock says three in the morning, the only light in your kitchen is the green digital glow, and you're bouncing on a yoga ball so hard your knees ache while holding a rigid infant who sounds like a...
The Wi-Fi Paranoia and Why We Chose a Simple Monitor
I was seven months pregnant with Maya, standing in the middle of Target aisle 14 in my black maternity leggings that were completely pilling at the thighs, clutching a lukewarm iced coffee like it was a life preserver. My phone...
How Many Babies Are Born a Day: The Honest Math Behind Birth
My mother-in-law told me infants only arrive during full moons. My old charge nurse at Northwestern swore Tuesday mornings were a cursed tidal wave of inductions. And the cashier at Trader Joe's confidently informed me, while bagging my frozen samosas,...
Exactly How Many Baby Mamas Does Elon Musk Have? A Mom's Guide
Dear Jess from six months ago: put down the phone and step away from the billionaire gossip. I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting in the dark in that creaky rocking chair, elbow-deep in the smell of...
Figuring out exactly how old is lil baby and surviving year one
It's 3:17 AM in Chicago. The radiator is hissing. I'm sitting in a glider that smells faintly of sour milk, staring at my phone. I'm so violently sleep-deprived that I've somehow fallen down a Wikipedia rabbit hole trying to figure...
Finding the Best Humidifier for Baby: A Letter to My Past Self
Dear Jess from last November. Right now, you're standing in the middle of the nursery at 3 AM holding a crusty, dinosaur-shaped plastic water tank that smells faintly of wet dog, crying because your six-month-old sounds like a tiny pug...
I'm a Baby Kitty Where's Mama: Surviving The Feline Phase
My hands were aggressively deep in a bowl of raw ground beef and breadcrumbs when I felt something wet drag across my bare ankle. I didn't even jump. When you've three kids under five, you just accept that random wet...
Ice cube ice ice baby: Why the freezer trend is a terrible idea
When my son cut his first tooth, I got three contradictory texts in the span of an hour. My mother called to tell me to wrap an ice cube in a clean muslin cloth and let him gnaw on it,...