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A Rat in the Playroom and Why I Tossed All Our Plastic Toys
I was holding a lukewarm mug of chai, stepping over the scattered debris of my toddler's morning play session. Beside the television stand, there was a grey lump. At first, I thought it was just a discarded lint ball from...
Troubleshooting Baby Potatoes: Air Fryers, Skins & Starch
I was wrist-deep in my eleven-month-old’s mouth, desperately trying to scrape a wet, glued-on piece of potato skin off his hard palate while he shrieked like a dial-up modem. My wife, carrying a laundry basket, froze in the doorway, took...
That Time A Baby Possum Taught Me Everything About Infant Sleep
I was standing in my gravel driveway at two in the afternoon, sweat pooling in the small of my back, holding a literal shoebox containing a shivering, bald little creature while my oldest toddler screamed so loud the neighbors probably...
My 3 AM Colic Panic and the Truth About Gripe Water for Babies
It's 3:14 AM. Tuesday. Or maybe a Thursday, time is a flat circle anyway when you haven't slept more than forty consecutive minutes in a month. I'm wearing my husband Dave's gray sweatpants with a mysterious crusty stain on the...
What The Gypsy Rose Baby Taught Me About Generational Trauma
It’s 3:14 AM. I’m sitting on the cold tile of my bathroom floor wearing Dave’s gross college sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left knee, holding a sleeping Leo who currently feels like a thirty-pound sack of wet...
The Brutal Truth About H&M Sizing and My Fast Fashion Paradox
I was literally sitting on the floor of Maya’s nursery, which was painted this exact shade of sage green that I spent three weeks hyper-fixating on during my third trimester, crying over a tiny beige cardigan. She was maybe eight...
What The Hailey Bieber Baby News Actually Taught Me About Postpartum
Three different people gave me completely different advice the week before my oldest was born, and not a single bit of it was helpful. My mom sat at my kitchen island, swirling the ice in her sweet tea, and promised...
How to Actually Raise a Happy Baby (And Not Lose Your Mind)
Dear Jess of exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 2:14 AM wearing a milk-stained nursing bra and mismatched pajama pants, crying into a cold cup of coffee while the baby screams like you've deeply offended...
Debugging a Midnight Panic: The Harlequin Baby Mix-Up Explained
Don't, under any circumstances, type the phrase "harlequin baby" into your phone at 3:14 AM while your infant is sleeping on their side. Just trust me on this one. I was sitting in the nursery rocking chair, running on maybe...