The great sweet potato incident and surviving baby boy haircuts
My wife Sarah was holding a spoonful of mashed sweet potato like a hostage negotiator, while I hovered over the high chair wielding a pair of poultry shears. Our son was completely oblivious, thrashing his head to some internal rhythm...
Finding Good Baby Care Near Me: A Mom's Honest Survival Guide
I was sitting in the driver's seat of our 2014 Honda CRV—which my husband affectionately calls the baby car because it smells permanently of sour milk and crushed Cheerios—crying into my steering wheel. My oldest was exactly three weeks old,...
The Truth About Baby Cobra: Tummy Time Pushes and Insurance Panic
I was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at a stack of medical bills and listening to hold music from my insurance provider, while my four-month-old was face-planted on the rug trying to lift his unnervingly heavy head. The biggest...
The 3 AM hostage negotiation and the baby daisy aesthetic
The digital clock on the dresser said 3:14 AM. The wind coming off Lake Michigan was rattling the bedroom window, but that wasn't what woke me. It was the distinct, unmistakable sound of a bodily fluid breaching containment. I stood...
The Truth About Baby Doge Coin & Real Pet Safety With Infants
The glare from my phone screen was absolutely blinding at 2:13 in the morning while I was trapped under thirty-two pounds of sleeping toddler and nursing my newest arrival in our creaky nursery glider. I was just trying to do...
The Autocomplete Trap And Keeping Kids Off The Weird Internet
My phone slipped out of my hand and hit the kitchen tile at exactly 2:14 p.m. yesterday. I was trying to type baby doll into a search bar to find a birthday gift for my niece. The internet, in its...
The Microtransaction Trap: My Nephew and the Baby Dragon Evo
I was elbow-deep in a Level 4 diaper blowout when my ten-year-old nephew, visiting from Seattle, leaned into the blast radius and asked if I could spot him twenty bucks for a baby dragon evo. I froze, holding a soiled...
My Honest Baby Eczema Cream Routine That Finally Let Us Sleep
It was 2:14 in the morning, the cicadas were screaming outside our Texas window, and I was sitting on the nursery floor watching my oldest son, Beau, turn his own face into a literal crime scene. He was maybe four...
Naptime Savior: The Only Baby Back Ribs Recipe Oven Guide You Need
It's exactly 1:14 PM on a random Tuesday, and I'm standing in the middle of my kitchen holding a massive rack of raw pork. I'm wearing the gray sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh, I haven't...