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Dear Past Marcus: The Skianzug Kinder Survival Guide I Wish I Had
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago, currently staring blindly at a wall of synthetic winter gear at the REI in the Pearl District while Sarah texts you asking if you've found anything waterproof yet. I'm writing to you from...
The truth about high-end baby presents and what parents want
The water in my bathroom sink was turning a very specific shade of neon yellow. It was three in the morning, my son Rohan was screaming from his bassinet with the raw, desperate lung capacity of a code blue patient,...
The brutal truth about teething and surviving the midnight drool
My mother-in-law told me to rub raw honey on his swollen gums, completely ignoring the botulism risk. A mom at music class swore her infant popped four incisors overnight with zero tears because she rubbed expensive vanilla extract on his...
The brutal truth about shopping a baby clearance warehouse sale
The wind off Lake Michigan was whipping my hair into my mouth while I stood in a line wrapping around an industrial park in Skokie. I was six months pregnant, freezing, and holding a lukewarm decaf coffee, waiting for the...
Why your toddler needs real fishing bibs (and not cute raincoats)
There's a very specific, high-pitched intake of breath a two-year-old makes when the icy water pooling on a rented fibreglass boat seat finally breaches her supposedly "weather-resistant" corduroy trousers. It’s a sound that cuts through the roar of a vintage...
Wann zahnen Babys? Ein Überlebensbericht für übermüdete Eltern
Es ist 3:14 Uhr morgens an einem feuchtkalten Londoner Dienstag, und ich stehe mit einer halben, angefrorenen Bio-Karotte in unserer Küche. Meine Tochter – eine Hälfte meines zweijährigen Zwillings-Doppelpacks, damals jedoch erst knapp sieben Monate alt – kaut währenddessen nicht...
How to survive the kinderzimmer einrichten phase without losing it
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant when I sat on the bare floor of our second bedroom in Chicago and cried over the smell of a dresser. We had just assembled a suspiciously cheap piece of nursery furniture I bought online....
The Only Realistic Baby Inventory A Panicked Parent Actually Needs
At week 24 of the pregnancy, I made the catastrophic mistake of asking three different people what we needed to buy for our impending human. My mom told me all we needed was love and a massive stack of cloth...
Why My Spreadsheet Strategy For Budget Baby Clothes Completely Failed
At 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was staring at a pivot table I'd built to calculate the exact cost-per-wear of an infant's wardrobe. My son was three months old at the time, and I was treating his closet like...