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The Reality of Sparkle Megan's Baby Reveal (From a Tired Dad)
Dear Marcus of six months ago. It's currently 3:14 AM, the rain is aggressively battering the Portland windows, and you're sitting in the glider chair trying to figure out if breathing too loudly will wake up the tiny human currently...
Did Jessica Sanchez Finally Have Her Baby? A Postpartum Warning
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of our terribly drafted London flat, attempting to assemble a twin nursing pillow that looks like a life raft, while your wife glowers at you from her birthing...
A 3 AM Deep Dive Into Sleep Coaches and 19th-Century Babies
The thermostat on the baby monitor says exactly 69.8 degrees, which is supposedly the good thermal threshold for an 11-month-old human, yet my daughter is currently thrashing against my chest like a malfunctioning Roomba. It's 2:14 AM. We're in the...
The real science behind the dancing baby gif and infant motor skills
I spent a ridiculous amount of time last Tuesday trying to capture the perfect dancing baby gif for my family's group chat. I propped my nine-month-old against the sofa, blasted some nineties club track, and hovered with my phone waiting...
The Sweaty, Stressful Reality of Baby Car Travel and Seat Safety
I was heavily pregnant with my second, sweating completely through my maternity tank top in a Target parking lot in the middle of July, trying to rip an infant seat base out of my husband's truck so I could move...
Surviving the Frilly Nightmare of Cute Baby Girl Clothes
I'm currently standing in the disabled toilet of a Costa Coffee in Wandsworth, staring in abject horror at my daughter’s back. She is wearing a gift from a well-meaning great-aunt—a vintage-style, sage green dress featuring no fewer than fourteen microscopic...
Stop Buying Tiny Suits: The Truth About Dressing Baby Boys
I'm currently staring at a giant plastic tote bin in my garage, holding a pair of stiff, mustard-yellow baby corduroy overalls that still have the tags on them. Next to them is a tiny plaid button-down shirt that feels suspiciously...
The Completely Unfiltered Reality Behind the Cute Baby Aesthetic
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in late November, and I was wearing an oversized, pill-covered grey fleece robe that smelled violently of sour milk and desperation. My daughter Maya was exactly seven weeks old. I was holding her...
The Truth About Custom Baby Onesies: A Letter To My Past Self
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. It's October 14th, 2:13 AM, and you're sitting on the very edge of the living room rug, wearing those disgusting gray fleece college sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left knee...