Debugging the baby boy wardrobe: A first-time dad’s logs
My thumb was actively bleeding. It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, rain was aggressively battering our Portland bedroom window, and I was locked in a physical struggle with a tiny, angry, poop-covered human. The adversary was a rigid denim...
Dear Past Priya: The Ugly Truth About Buying Baby Boots
Dear Priya from last November. You're currently wedged between the radiator and the front door of our Chicago apartment, sweating completely through your shirt. You're trying to wrestle a screaming nine-month-old into a tiny fleece snowsuit while staring at a...
Why I Attempted Babydecke Stricken (And Almost Lost My Mind)
My mother-in-law slapped a skein of neon acrylic on our kitchen island and told me it was indestructible. Three hours later, the guy at the local Portland yarn shop looked at me like I'd asked to poison the water supply...
The Great Baby Sleep Sack Delusion (And What Actually Works)
Before the twins arrived, my wife and I spent an embarrassing amount of time folding beautifully crocheted, pastel-coloured blankets over the edge of their cots. I had this distinct, cinematic vision of fatherhood where I'd gently tuck a cellular quilt...
The Schlupfmütze: Why This Bizarre Hat Defeats All Winter Gear
I'm standing in the middle of Mt. Tabor park, staring at a patch of mud, watching my eleven-month-old aggressively rip a perfectly good knit beanie off his head for the fourteenth time in ten minutes. He doesn't even look angry....
The messy truth about trying to knit your own baby clothes
I was thirty-four weeks pregnant, sitting cross-legged on the floor of a craft store in Lincoln Park, quietly crying over a skein of mustard yellow yarn. My feet were swollen to the size of small hams. My lower back felt...
Dear Past Jess: How to Actually Win a Bio Babykleidung Sale
Dear Jess from six months ago. You’re currently sitting on the floor of the nursery, staring at a mountain of stained, weirdly stiff fast-fashion onesies, crying because the new baby is coming in three weeks and our bank account is...
Why the Strickhose Baby Trend Actually Saved My Newborn's Sleep
I was standing in our drafty hallway at 3:14 AM wearing nothing but a nursing bra and a pair of my husband Dan’s sweatpants that had a mysterious yogurt stain on the knee, holding a screaming three-week-old Leo who felt,...
The Truth About the Cult Baby Body Wolle Seide Obsession
I was standing in the hospital parking lot in late October with a three-day-old Leo, clutching a lukewarm Americano in one hand and staring at his car seat in a total panic. It was windy, and I was wearing those...