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A tired dad holding a blue floral baby blanket surrounded by party decorations

Hosting a Baby in Bloom Baby Shower: A Dad's Survival Guide

You're currently bleeding on a £40 bunch of imported eucalyptus. I know this because I'm you, writing from exactly six months in the future, and I still have the tiny, irritating scar on my left index finger to prove it....

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Exhausted twin dad staring at a sticky tablet screen looking deeply confused

Why my toddler's search for baby hotline lyrics gave me a heart attack

It's 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and my left knee is submerged in what I can only hope is lukewarm porridge. Twin A, who I'm increasingly convinced is an agent of chaos sent to test my blood pressure, has somehow...

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A nursery filled with shaggy cow decor and baby teething toys

Why The Baby Highland Cow Trend Completely Took Over My Life

There's a piece of dried pampas grass currently jabbing me in the left nostril as I bend over to pick up a discarded sock, and I've just realized I'm staring directly into the soulful, watercolor eyes of a shaggy Scottish...

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Twin babies in a double buggy wearing safe baby earrings

The Panicked Dad's Guide to Buying Tiny Metal Ear Ornaments

The 19-year-old holding what looked like a neon pink staple gun was snapping her chewing gum with rhythmic, terrifying precision. I stood perfectly still on the sticky floor of the high street accessory shop, gripping the handle of the double...

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Frustrated dad looking at his phone while twin toddlers play on the floor

Dear Past Tom: The Baby Dragon Evo Is Not A Wooden Toy

Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor at 6:13 AM, watching Maya meticulously paint the skirting boards with organic oat porridge while Lily tries to negotiate with a rogue Cheerio she found under the...

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Tired dad holding a cup of hot coffee out of reach of twin toddlers.

The Burn Baby Burn Reality Check: Why Your Coffee is the Enemy

I'm currently standing in the exact centre of my kitchen, holding a mug of aggressively hot black coffee directly above my head like I'm presenting Simba to the animal kingdom, while two toddlers attempt to scale my pyjama trousers. This...

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Tom's twin girls with slightly shiny but unchapped noses after applying organic balm

Why I Finally Caved to the Organic Baby Face Balm Craze

It’s Tuesday, somewhere around 3 PM, and I'm currently pinned to the nursery rug by a twenty-four-pound toddler who's thrashing her head side-to-side like a cornered badger to avoid the muslin cloth I’m wielding. Her twin sister is watching from...

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A tired father holding a baby while looking confused in a grocery store

The Absurd Truth About The Baby Camel Trend Invading London

I was standing in a fiercely over-lit organic grocer in Hackney at 7:15 in the morning, holding a squirming toddler under one arm like a bag of wet cement, when I saw it. A tiny, violently expensive glass bottle labeled...

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Twin babies covered in healthy smash cake frosting on their first birthday

The Great First Birthday Smash Cake Disaster (And What I Learned)

There's a specific, deeply unsettling textural horror to finding mashed avocado and coconut cream crusted into your left eyebrow three hours after the guests have gone home. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, picking dried oat flour...

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