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Why Searching Baby Dolls Dallas Is A Hilarious Parenting Mistake

Texas, for those who haven't had the pleasure of dragging a jet-lagged toddler through it, is less a state and more an ongoing experiment in aggressive air conditioning. We were staying in an Airbnb that smelled faintly of cinnamon and...

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Mom looking exhausted while scrolling through a baby list on her phone

How to Build Your Amazon Registry Baby List Without Losing It

I was thirty-two weeks pregnant with my oldest, Beau, sitting on the faux-wood laminate floor of our tiny rental house, sobbing hysterically because the internet told me I needed a three-hundred-dollar wipe warmer. The nearest big-box store was a forty-five-minute...

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Toddler throwing a massive tantrum in the middle of a bright toy aisle

Dear Past Sarah: The Local Kids Store Is A Complete Trap

It's Tuesday, 10:45 AM, and you're currently sweating through your favorite grey Madewell tee while standing in the middle of that aggressively aesthetic boutique downtown. Your four-year-old, Leo, is lying starfish-style on the polished concrete floor, screaming something that sounds...

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Mother scrolling phone in dark nursery holding a sleeping baby

Surviving the baby markt: what I bought versus what actually works

The screen brightness is turned all the way down to a sliver, but it still burns my retinas. It's 3:14 in the morning. I'm trapped under a sleeping ten-pound dictator who will wake up if I shift my left leg...

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Tired mother sitting in a dark nursery looking at her phone

The Viral Nursery Search Trap Every Tired Parent Needs To Avoid

My mother told me to simply keep the tablet in a locked drawer until my daughter is in middle school. My tech-bro cousin from San Jose insisted I need a multi-layer home VPN with military-grade packet sniffing to protect our...

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Sarah holding a cold cup of coffee looking stressed at a laptop screen

The Baby Registry Amazon Myth That Totally Ruined My Saturday

I was wearing Dave's oversized college sweatpants—the ones with the bleach stain on the left knee that he absolutely refuses to throw away—sitting on our living room rug with my third cup of lukewarm, frankly terrible coffee, just sobbing at...

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Frustrated mom looking up the baby booter meaning on her phone

What On Earth Is A Baby Booter? Decoding Weird Parenting Slang

I was standing in my kitchen at 6 AM, wearing yesterday's yoga pants and one of Dave's oversized college t-shirts that has a mysterious bleach stain on the hem, holding a lukewarm mug of coffee. I was just staring blankly...

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A mom holding a baby registry scanner gun looking overwhelmed in a store aisle

The Great Registry Meltdown and the Weird Return of Buybuy Baby

I was twenty-four weeks pregnant, sitting in the sweltering heat of my Ford F-150 outside a suburban strip mall, ugly crying into a half-eaten sleeve of saltines. It was July in Texas, my ankles had officially merged with my calves,...

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Mom looking frustrated at a laptop trying to fix her amazon baby registry search settings

How to Actually Make Your Amazon Baby Registry Searchable

I was sitting on my living room floor, nine months pregnant with my oldest, sobbing into a pile of unfolded onesies because my mother-in-law called to say my registry didn't exist. There's this massive lie we all buy into when...

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