Magazine

Exhausted mom in a messy bun holding her baby daughter while playing music

Why Finding the Perfect Baby Girl Song Actually Broke My Brain

It was 3:14 AM on a damp Tuesday in November, and the blue light from my phone was practically searing my corneas. I was sitting on the edge of the gray nursery glider—the one I insisted we needed because Pinterest...

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Priya holding her fussy infant while attempting to sing a ragtime song in the dark nursery

Why we sing hello my baby hello my honey at 3 AM to survive

Listen. Don't do what I did last Tuesday night. Don't stand in the dark swaying your screaming infant, realize you only know the chorus to the cartoon frog song, and try to pull up the hello my baby hello my...

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Stressed mom holding coffee while toddler points at a smart speaker playing the explicit Lil Baby new album.

My Toddler Found the Lil Baby New Album on Our Smart Speaker

There I was, elbow-deep in cold oatmeal, desperately trying to keep the twins from launching their sticky spoons at the dog, when my four-year-old casually yelled across the kitchen at our smart speaker. He’s my oldest, which means he's my...

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Tired dad sitting on a rug while twins bang wooden toys against a play gym

Surviving the Baby Mozart Delusion With Two Extremely Loud Twins

It was 3:14 AM on a dismal, rain-soaked London Tuesday, and I was pinned to the sofa beneath two howling six-month-olds, frantically jabbing at my phone with my nose. I was trying to skip a shockingly loud Spotify advert for...

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Confused mom holding a coffee cup looking at a smartphone screen late at night.

Melanie Martinez Cry Baby: My Late Night Parenting Heart Attack

It was 10:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing a pair of sweatpants that had a questionable stain on the left knee—probably yogurt, possibly paint, I really didn't want to investigate—when my smart speaker decided to traumatize me....

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Mom sitting on living room floor looking tired while toddler walks away

Don't You Want Me Like I Want You Baby Lyrics & Toddler Drama

The absolute biggest lie the parenting industry ever managed to sell us is that your Spotify Wrapped needs to look like an eighteenth-century Austrian composer's fever dream for your kid to get into a good kindergarten. I was standing in...

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Mom holding baby while looking confused at her phone screen

Navigating The CD Baby Login Confusion And Infant Auditory Rules

I was sitting on my laundry room floor at two in the morning with my oldest, trying to drown out his colic screams by frantically scrolling through my phone. My mom had just texted me, "Bless his heart, just get...

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Baby hands covered in safe sweet potato puree paint on a wipeable mat.

Why I Stopped Forcing Aesthetic Crafts and Let My Kids Make a Mess

Dear Jess from six months ago, I'm writing to you from the future, and you need to drop the organic sweet potato puree, step away from the canvas, and take a deep breath. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor...

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Stressed mom spilling lukewarm coffee in the driver seat of a minivan

Why I Googled the Brooklyn Baby Lyrics in the Minivan Today

Tuesday, 8:14 AM. I'm sitting in the school drop-off line wearing black leggings that haven't actually seen a yoga studio since approximately 2019. There's a crusty white stain on my left knee that I'm aggressively ignoring—it's either toothpaste or yogurt,...

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