Kat Timpf's Birth Story Proves We Can't Control Everything
I was sitting on the floor of our Portland apartment, watching my 11-month-old systematically try to dismantle the baseboards with his two bottom teeth, when I decided to permanently delete the color-coded Notion database I had built for his birth....
Processing the Tragic University of Kentucky Cheerleader Baby News
It was 5:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the sticky linoleum of my kitchen floor in sweatpants that smelled faintly of string cheese, trying to drink coffee that had been microwaved three times already. I was...
Why the Weighted Sleep Sack Trend Terrified Me Out of My Wits
Itβs 3:17 am, the exact hour when your brain stops processing logic and starts throwing your debit card at whichever Instagram ad promises the most impossible lie. Twin B had been doing this awful, rhythmic screeching thing for three solid...
Surviving Baby Daycare: What I Believed vs What Actually Happened
I'm currently sitting in a 2014 Skoda Estate, engine off, staring blankly at a laminated sign that reads "Little Acorns" through a windscreen smeared with what I sincerely hope is just mashed banana. My twin daughters, Isla and Freya, are...
My Honest Baby Eczema Cream Routine That Finally Let Us Sleep
It was 2:14 in the morning, the cicadas were screaming outside our Texas window, and I was sitting on the nursery floor watching my oldest son, Beau, turn his own face into a literal crime scene. He was maybe four...
What I Learned After Googling an Anencephaly Baby Diagnosis
It was 2:14 AM on a random Tuesday, roughly week fourteen of my wife's pregnancy, and I was doing the exact thing every medical professional explicitly tells you not to do. I was sitting in the blue glow of my...
Is My Child an Alien Baby? A Troubleshooting Log for Past Me
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing over the bassinet in the pitch black, holding your phone flashlight cupped in your palm so Sarah doesn't wake up, watching a tiny chest stop rising for what feels like...
The 3AM Headlamp Operation: Surviving The Infant Nail Care Phase
I'm hovering over Maya's cot like a deeply unqualified jewel thief. It's 3:14 AM. I'm wearing a 400-lumen camping headlamp, holding my breath so hard my vision is blurring, and my hands are hovering over a sleeping toddler with a...
The Truth About Newborn Onesies (And How Many You Actually Need)
Itβs 3:14 AM in November 2019. I'm standing in the glow of a nursery nightlight that's inexplicably shaped like a slice of pizza, holding a screaming, poop-covered three-week-old Maya. I'm wearing my husband's old college sweatpants which also, somehow, have...