When Your Baby's Face is Red and Peeling: My Eczema Survival Story
I was sitting in my minivan in the HEB parking lot, crying over a steering wheel covered in crushed Cheerios, because the cashier had just asked me why I let my three-month-old get a severe sunburn in February. I hadn't,...
Why I Will Never Buy the Baby Dior Perfume for My Twin Girls
Last Tuesday at precisely 4:15 PM, I found myself standing in a terrifyingly white Georgian townhouse in South Kensington, wiping a smear of mashed banana off my left shoulder while watching a woman named Cressida casually spritz her eight-month-old son...
Why I Stopped Buying Flashy Baby Designer Clothes
It was 2:14 in the morning on a Tuesday, and I was standing in Mayaβs nursery wearing a nursing tank top that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, holding my breath. She was three weeks old. My mother-in-law had...
The Cetaphil Baby Wash Delusion: Why Slippery Twins Require A Reali...
I'm currently holding onto a wet, furious 11-kilo toddler with my left forearm while my right hand desperately attempts to extract lather from a plastic bottle before her sister successfully drinks a pint of lukewarm, slightly soapy bathwater. If you've...
The 3 AM Eczema Crisis That Made Me Choose CeraVe Baby Wash
At exactly 3:14 AM on a rainy Tuesday, I found myself holding a slippery, screaming infant who looked alarmingly like a boiled prawn. Florence, who's usually the more reasonable of the twins, was covered neck-to-toe in a furious, sandpaper-like rash....
Troubleshooting the Caden Lane Baby Hype: A Dad's Deep Dive
It's 3:14 AM, and I'm trying to thread a microscopic plastic zipper in total darkness while a small, angry human practices mixed martial arts against my kidneys. My 11-month-old son has just executed a catastrophic diaper payload, and I'm currently...
The Impossible Task of Finding a Baby Winter Hat That Stays On
We're in the parking lot of the Skokie Target. It's twelve degrees outside, which in Chicago math with the wind chill feels like negative four hundred. Leo is maybe six months old. I'm shivering in yoga pants with a hardened...
The Honest Truth About Baby Tees and Sensitive Skin
My mom told me to put three layers and a fleece snowsuit on my oldest when we left the hospital in mid-April because she swore "a chill will get him" the second we stepped outside. My younger sister, who doesn't...
The Great Spot Panic: When Your Infant Looks Like a Teenager
There's a very specific type of terror reserved for 4:17 am, illuminated solely by the aggressive blue light of an iPhone torch. I was standing over the Moses basket, holding a generic glass tumbler against my two-week-old daughterβs cheek, trying...