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Why your baby hates every teething toy you buy
My mother-in-law casually suggested rubbing whiskey on my daughter's gums. The neighborhood mom-group admin swore by a thirty-dollar raw Baltic amber necklace that apparently possesses magical anti-swollen properties. My old charge nurse at the hospital just shrugged, told me to...
Why I Threw Out Our Giant Plastic Baby Activity Table
I was sitting on the living room rug with my coffee halfway to my mouth, staring at my oldest son, Jackson, who looked like he was preparing for a lunar launch. He was six months old and firmly wedged into...
Dear past Priya: Surviving the bunny blanket hostage crisis
It's 2:14 in the morning and you're currently army-crawling across the nursery rug, sweeping your hand under the crib like a frantic metal detector. You're looking for a twelve-inch piece of fabric with a stuffed rabbit head attached to it....
The brutal truth about shopping a baby clearance warehouse sale
The wind off Lake Michigan was whipping my hair into my mouth while I stood in a line wrapping around an industrial park in Skokie. I was six months pregnant, freezing, and holding a lukewarm decaf coffee, waiting for the...
Why your toddler needs real fishing bibs (and not cute raincoats)
There's a very specific, high-pitched intake of breath a two-year-old makes when the icy water pooling on a rented fibreglass boat seat finally breaches her supposedly "weather-resistant" corduroy trousers. Itβs a sound that cuts through the roar of a vintage...
My Desperate Search for "Spielzeug fΓΌr 1 JΓ€hrige" (Toys)
Yesterday at 5:14 AM, I staggered into the living room to grab a burp cloth and stepped directly onto a plastic cow that immediately began mooing "Old MacDonald" in a haunting, battery-depleted baritone. My 11-month-old daughter, sitting in her playpen,...
Losing My Mind Inside Infant Stores (And What You Actually Need)
My mother-in-law cornered me at my own baby shower, pointed at my seven-month belly, and told me I needed to buy absolutely everything brand new or the baby would contract some kind of Victorian wasting disease. Twenty minutes later, my...
The Brutal Truth About Car Seats For Babies And Surviving The Setup
It was late August in Texas, meaning the hospital parking lot felt like the inside of a preheated oven. My husband Dave was violently yanking a seatbelt through a gray plastic base, sweating completely through his shirt, while the discharge...
The freezing truth about strapping infants into baby car seats
It's February in Chicago, the wind chill is somewhere around negative twelve, and I'm standing in the concrete wind tunnel of Northwestern Memorial's parking garage at two in the morning. My husband has his phone flashlight clenched between his teeth....