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baby cryingbaby healthlondon dadmillennialnewbornparenting humor
Exhausted dad staring blankly into space while holding two screaming infants

Confessions of a smug London dad: Surviving a real cry-baby

It was 3:14 in the morning, and the hallway carpet was perfectly imprinting its cheap synthetic weave into my bare knees. I had Twin A tucked under my left arm like a highly volatile rugby ball, and Twin B draped...

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11-month-oldbaby formulahealthmillennialparenting humor
Tired dad reading consumer reports baby formula data on a laptop in the dark

Consumer reports baby formula data broke my brain as a dad

Last Tuesday, at exactly 2:14 AM, I found myself standing in the kitchen illuminated only by the harsh green glow of the microwave clock, staring at a plastic scoop of white powder like it was radioactive material. Before my son...

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Tired mom holding a coffee mug while her daughter dances to K-pop videos

My Kid is Obsessed with Chiquita Baby Monster and I Am Tired

It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, which in my house is basically the witching hour but with more aggressive demands for waffles. I was standing in the kitchen wearing a robe that distinctly smelled like old milk and failure,...

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90s nostalgiababy clothesbaby safetymillennialorganic baby clotheswinter gear
Toddler wearing canvas overalls and a soft organic cotton long sleeve bodysuit

The Honest Parent's Guide to Surviving Carhartt Baby Clothes

It's a freezing Tuesday in November 2018, and I'm standing in the middle of a disgustingly hip baby boutique in Portland, Oregon, wearing yoga pants that haven't seen an actual yoga studio since Obama was in office. I'm clutching a...

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90s nostalgiababy sleepmillennialorganic baby clothesparenthood
Exhausted dad holding a baby in a bamboo blanket while looking at his phone

Britney Spears Hit Me Baby One More Time: A Dad's Sleep Hack

Dear Marcus from six months ago. It's 3:14 AM, you're currently standing by the changing table in the dark, and you're holding a five-month-old who's screaming at a frequency that's definitely violating several local Portland noise ordinances. You have tried...

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90s nostalgiacommunicationmillennialparenting humorpop culture
Me panicking in the kitchen while kids sing britney spears baby one more time

My Kids Discovered Britney Spears Baby One More Time (Oh God)

It was exactly 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in front of the coffee maker wearing my husband Dave's old Syracuse sweatpantsβ€”the ones with the mysterious hardened yogurt stain on the left kneeβ€”when I heard it. Maya,...

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11-month-oldbaby sleepmillennialparenting humorpop culture
Exhausted dad holding his 11 month old son while looking at a smartphone in a dark nursery

Why the True Story of Brenda's Got A Baby Changed My Parenting

It was 3:14 AM. I know the exact time because I track every single one of my son's sleep disturbances in a spreadsheet, like some sort of deranged data analyst trying to find a pattern in pure chaos. I was...

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11-month-oldbaby behaviorboundariesearly developmentmillennialparenting humor
An exhausted dad sitting on the floor surrounded by baby toys

Debugging the Bratty G Baby Phase Before You Lose Your Mind

Yesterday, my 11-month-old threw a shoe at my head because I wouldn't let him eat a handful of potting soil, which prompted three completely different unsolicited diagnoses from the people in my life. My mom, who aggressively refers to him...

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11-month-oldbaby showerbaby shower themeseco-friendlyfatherhoodmillennial
Dad tracking baby shower food temperatures while holding wooden toys

Debugging the Pinterest Algorithm: Our Boy Baby Shower Theme Saga

It was 10:42 PM on a Tuesday when the algorithm finally broke me. My wife, Sarah, was asleep on my shoulder, but her phone was still unlocked in her hand, illuminating the dark bedroom with an endless, scrolling matrix of...

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