The 2 AM Regalo Baby Gate Crisis That Finally Broke My Spirit
It's exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm sitting on the top landing of our painfully narrow London terrace in just my boxer shorts, holding a spirit level in one hand and a metal tension rod in the other....
The Truth About Baby Pillows (And Why You Really Don't Need One)
I was standing in my nursery three days postpartum, hormonal tears stinging my eyes, holding a tiny pair of socks and staring at what looked like a miniature prison cell. My mom had just left after a visit, having casually...
Dear Jess: What I Wish I Knew Before the Baby Hummingbird Incident
Dear Jess of last May, put down the plastic eye dropper and step away from the kitchen counter before you inadvertently commit a federal wildlife crime. Right now, the baby is strapped to your sweaty chest in the carrier, the...
The Complete Disaster of Buying a Baby Gate for Stairs
I'm halfway down the staircase, suspended entirely in mid-air at 2:14 in the morning, clutching a sticky bottle of strawberry Calpol in one hand and a shrieking twenty-pound toddler in the other. My left foot has just hooked firmly under...
Surviving the American baby copperhead panic as a clueless dad
The humidity in North Carolina in late August is a physical assault, the kind of oppressive heat that makes your clothes feel like a wet apology. I was standing on my American in-laws' patio, clutching a rapidly melting gin and...
The truth about baby bump timelines and why apps lie to you
I was standing in our kitchen holding a retractable Stanley tape measure against my wife's stomach, trying to log exactly how many centimeters her abdomen had grown since the previous Tuesday. She looked down at me like I was trying...
Why the Three Men and a Baby Cast Lied to Us About Fatherhood
It was 3:14 AM, my 11-month-old son was attached to a bottle, and the glowing screen of my iPad was illuminating my deeply exhausted face. I was watching an 80s comedy classic to stay awake, watching Tom Selleck hold a...
Surviving Twin Bath Time And The Suction Cup Seat Illusion
Before I had even figured out how to turn on the taps in a way that wouldnβt instantly scold or freeze my daughters, I was already fielding contradictory instructions from everyone I knew about how to wash them. My mother-in-law...
To Past Me: Losing Sleep Over That 7 Month Old Baby Kidnapped Update
You're sitting in the rocker right now, the wood creaking on that one lopsided floorboard in the nursery, clutching a cold cup of coffee from yesterday while the baby finally sleeps on your chest. The glowing screen of your phone...