Magazine

Vintage 90s pink flamingo plush toy sitting safely on a high nursery shelf

My Son's Vintage February 13 Plushie Almost Caused A System Crash

I was sitting on the floor of my home office, watching the Portland rain hammer against the window, when I unboxed a neon pink flamingo from 1995. My mother mailed the package to us last week. Apparently, Ty plush toys...

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Digital calipers measuring a neon sour gumball next to a silicone teether

My Brother's Cry Baby Bubble Gum Gag Gift Caused a Full System Panic

My brother Dave stood in our kitchen holding a plastic tub shaped like a giant teardrop, grinning like he had just solved a complex algorithm. Dave is 28, works in crypto, and his entire frame of reference for human infants...

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Dad holding baby while researching true crime on laptop

Did Ed Gein Kill The Baby Sitter? A Dad's Late-Night Search

11:43 PM. The glow of the television is casting a sickly blue light across our living room, illuminating an abandoned silicone teething ring and a half-drank bottle of formula. Sarah is asleep on the couch, her head resting at an...

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A dad holding a vintage plush dragon while looking stressed in a nursery

The Absurd Reality of Hunting for a December 9 Beanie Baby

My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last Tuesday, holding a 1998 plush dragon by its tail like it was a dead rat. She informed me, with the solemnity of a war general, that placing any soft toy within a...

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A vintage Rumba the Tiger sitting safely on a high nursery shelf away from the crib

Why My Kid's Vintage Birthday Twin Toy Is Banned From The Crib

My wife Sarah caught me in the glow of my dual monitors at 2:14 AM, hovering my cursor over a "Buy It Now" button for a twenty-one-year-old stuffed tiger. I was holding our eleven-month-old in my left arm, furiously typing...

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Vintage Ty plush bear sitting safely on a wooden nursery shelf away from the crib

The Truth About Getting a December 15 Beanie Baby for Kids

My mother-in-law cornered me by the diaper pail on Tuesday morning. "You absolutely must get him the Ty toy with his exact birthday to keep in his crib," she announced, waving a screenshot from some Facebook collector's group. Three hours...

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A dad looking confused while tangled in a long fabric wrap holding a baby

Why Most Baby Carriers Fail Dads and How We Finally Fixed It

Listen, I thought I was being a supportive, eco-conscious wife when I bought us a matching organic linen ring sling. It was a brisk April morning in Chicago, and I stood on our front porch watching Amit in the driveway....

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A mother holding her newborn baby securely in an ergonomic carrier

The truth about that Jenna baby nude photo uproar

My mother-in-law swore my baby needed three layers of wool at all times or he would catch a draft and perish instantly. A lactation consultant in a fluorescent hospital basement told me skin-to-skin meant I shouldn't wear a top for...

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A dad looking confused at a vintage plush dog sitting on a baby nursery shelf.

Troubleshooting the Nostalgia of a January 11th Beanie Baby Toy

It was 10:43 PM on a Tuesday, and I was deep into a terminal window trying to figure out why our staging environment kept throwing 502 gateway errors. My 11-month-old son, Leo, was finally asleep after what I can only...

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