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Winter With Twins: A Freezing Dad's Guide to Infant Layering
Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently standing in the narrow, draughty hallway of our Victorian terrace, sweating profusely through your jumper while trying to stuff Evie's left arm into a fleece-lined snowsuit. Isla is already dressed and currently...
What No One Tells You About Your Newborn's Literal Baby Face
It was 2016, and I was sitting on my incredibly disgusting beige couch at 3 AM. I was seven months pregnant with Maya, wearing a pair of maternity leggings that had a questionable hole in the crotch, and I was...
The Real Story Behind Keeping Your Kid Alive in the Backseat
The discharge nurse was watching me. We were on level three of the Northwestern Memorial parking garage, the Chicago wind was howling through the concrete pillars, and my husband was weeping silently while trying to wrestle a five-pound infant into...
When Ice Ice Baby Goes Wrong: Teething, Choking, and Cold Fails
I was standing in my kitchen at two in the morning in a ratty t-shirt, sweat dripping down my back because Texas in July is basically a swamp, watching a piece of ice slide out of my fingers and straight...
Surviving the cursed reality of the chunky knit baby outfit
We were at my mother-in-law's house for Boxing Day when I realised we had made a terrible mistake. The thermostat in her living room was set to what I can only describe as "equatorial," and the twins were both strapped...
Buying a FuΓsack Kinderwagen Winter Neugeborene? Read This
It was mid-February, it was maybe fourteen degrees outside, and I was standing on the sidewalk in front of our local bakery crying into a lukewarm cappuccino. Leo was exactly three weeks old. I was wearing maternity leggings that had...
The Great Wool Disaster: Surviving a Ridiculous Baby Knit Set
The clock on the microwave said 3:14 AM, and the smell hit me before I even reached the landing. It was that distinct, metallic, sweet-yet-horrific scent of a total nappy failure. In the cot, Matilda was standing up, gripping the...
The Brutal Truth About Fox Pelt Blankets in Your Baby's Nursery
When my mother-in-law's sister visited right after my daughter was born, she brought a genuine silver fox fur throw in a massive garment bag. She told me real pelts were the only way to keep winter babies properly insulated, citing...
A Letter To Past Me About The Winter Onesie Sweater Situation
Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently standing by the radiator in the front room of our freezing London flat, staring at your hands. The boiler is making that ominous clunking sound again, Alice is attempting to eat a...