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Surviving The Ash Baby Look And Other Sweaty Newborn Disasters
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at Leo under the harsh bathroom vanity light, wearing a nursing bra that smelled aggressively of sour milk and my husband Dave's oversized college sweatpants. Leo was three weeks...
The Exhausting Truth About Buying Baby Wipes in the Modern Age
It's 3:14 in the morning, the room smells vaguely of sour milk and despair, and I'm furiously yanking at a packet of supermarket wet cloths that have decided to chain themselves together like a magician's endless handkerchief. I only need...
Dear past me: Stop panicking about finding the perfect baby bassinet
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. I know you're sitting there at the kitchen island in those stained grey maternity sweatpants you refuse to throw away, drinking your third cup of lukewarm French roast out of the chipped mug,...
The Great Baby Myth And Other Delightful Lies We Tell New Parents
At precisely 3:14 AM on a rainy Tuesday, while scraping what I desperately hoped was mashed sweet potato off the nursery ceiling, I realised the central lie of modern parenting. Before the twins arrived, well-meaning relatives and aggressively pastel-coloured books...
Surviving the 6pm Meltdown: A Very Tired Dad's Guide to Colic
The absolute worst thing you can do at 6:13 PM on a Tuesday, when your infant begins their nightly impersonation of a faulty car alarm, is to load up YouTube on your phone, prop it against a cold cup of...
The Brutal Truth About Choosing a Baby Formula for Your Infant
The biggest myth in modern parenting is that the price tag on a tin of powdered milk directly correlates to how much you love your child. I used to believe this. Before the twins arrived, I assumed that unless a...
Raising A Baby Boy: Surviving The Chaos And Finding Cute Clothes
When I was eight months pregnant with my oldest—the child who's now officially my daily cautionary tale—I got three distinct pieces of advice in the span of one afternoon. The lady at the post office told me boys are emotionally...
The truth about raising a dutch baby (and eating one)
I'm currently scraping dried egg batter off my kitchen cabinet at seven in the morning while my toddler aggressively signs for more bananas. This is the exact opposite of the tranquil, well-rested maternal ideal I had pictured when I started...
Surviving the "Pretty Little Baby" Illusion (And Other Newborn Real...
I'm standing in the poorly lit postnatal ward of a central London hospital, staring at what looks like two furious, bruised potatoes. My wife is completely unconscious, having just performed a biological miracle that looked exactly like a medical emergency,...