The absurd reality of getting your baby a Pampers modelling gig
We were at a deeply depressing soft play centre in Croydon, inhaling the scent of damp socks and despair, when a woman with aggressive blonde highlights leaned over the ball pit to tell me my twin girls were "absolute angels."...
Demystifying the Brand Ambassador Job Description for Parents
The biggest myth the internet ever sold to my generation is that getting paid to post baby photos is easy money. Currently, I'm hiding in our hallway with my laptop balanced precariously on a laundry basket because my eleven-month-old is...
How A Baby Ashlee OnlyFans Search Completely Changed My Screen Rules
It was exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the specific patch of our kitchen floor where the grout has been missing since 2019. I was wearing yoga pants that definitely had a crusty yogurt stain...
The Truth About Babia.to Elementor & Why Safe Baby Shopping Matters
So, when I first decided I was going to start a little side-hustle blog about pureeing vegetablesβwhich, spoiler alert, lasted exactly three weeks before I remembered I hate cookingβI got completely conflicting advice from literally everyone in my life. My...
The 'Baby Akira Onlyfans' Search Hazard: A Parental Warning
My mother thinks an unlocked iPad is a perfectly acceptable babysitter (she frequently reminds me that she left me in front of the television for the entirety of the 1990s and I turned out completely fine, which is debatable). The...
Why a Baby Kicking Simulator Script Changed Our Playtime
I was up to my elbows in pureed butternut squash, desperately trying to convince two screaming two-year-olds that lunch was a necessary human function, when I glanced over at my nine-year-old nephew. He was visiting for the weekend, slouched on...
The 4D Strip Mall Ultrasound Panic We Absolutely Did Not Need
The room smelled aggressively like vanilla plug-in air fresheners and shared a drywall boundary with a discount mattress store. I was sitting in a faux-leather theater recliner in the Portland suburbs, sweating through my t-shirt, while a woman who introduced...
Real Talk About Baby Shower Captions and Social Media Etiquette
My mom told me to put my phone in a kitchen drawer and not post a single photo of my first pregnancy celebration because "the internet is full of weirdos." My Gen-Z cousin immediately grabbed my phone out of my...
How searching for the best baby dragon evo decks cost me $142
It was Tuesday night, roughly 9:45 PM. I was standing in the kitchen wearing my husband Mark's gray sweatpants and a college t-shirt that literally still had dried oatmeal on the left shoulder from breakfast. I was holding my phone,...