Staring At Walls: The Blurry Truth About Baby Vision Development
It was 3 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was wearing a gray maternity tank top from Target that smelled strongly of sour milk, stale coffee, and raw desperation. The house was entirely silent except for the rhythmic,...
Dear Past Me: Everything I Wish I Knew About Cleaning A Tiny Tongue
Dear Past Sarah, It's 2 AM on a Tuesday. You're sitting on the living room rug, wearing that ancient Nirvana baby t-shirt from high schoolβyes, the one with the bleach hole near the hemβand you're frantically shining your iPhone flashlight...
When You Realize That Milk on Your Baby's Tongue is Actually Thrush
It was 3:14 AM. I know the exact time because I had been staring at the glowing green numbers on our digital alarm clock while my oldest, Leoβwho was roughly six weeks old at the timeβscreamed into my collarbone. I...
The Honest Truth About Baby Tees and Sensitive Skin
My mom told me to put three layers and a fleece snowsuit on my oldest when we left the hospital in mid-April because she swore "a chill will get him" the second we stepped outside. My younger sister, who doesn't...
When Your Kid Folds in Half: Surviving a Frank Breech Baby Delivery
"Put a frozen bag of frozen peas on the top of your belly," my neighbor Shelly told me at the grocery store, cornering me between the canned beans and the tortillas. "Stand on your head in the swimming pool," my...
Why Your Baby Keeps Deploying Their Tongue Like A Tiny Lizard
To: Marcus (from exactly 164 days ago) From: Marcus (current day, currently covered in mysterious sticky residue) Subject: URGENT: The tongue thing is not a hardware failure It's 2:14 AM in your timeline right now. The nursery temperature is exactly...
Why the Days of Our Lives Tate's Baby Drama Sent Me Spiraling
I was knee-deep in a mountain of mismatched toddler socks last Tuesday, nursing my four-month-old like a human pacifier while trying to peel tiny vinyl letters off a batch of bachelorette tumblers for my Etsy shop, when my guilty pleasure...
How The Britney Spears Adopt A Baby Rumor Broke My Brain At 3 AM
Listen y'all, it was exactly 3:14 AM. I know this because I was sitting on the cold linoleum floor of my walk-in pantry, eating a slightly stale handful of mini marshmallows out of a plastic bag, staring at the clock...
Don't You Worry Baby Tyler: My Huge 2AM Nursery Mistake
It was 2:14 AM. I know the exact time because the glowing red numbers of the digital clock were burning a hole in my retinas. Maya was about four months old and going through that horrific sleep regression where they...