Did Derek Hough Lose a Baby? The Truth About Pregnancy Loss
When we were going through our own jagged little version of hell before the twins arrived, my mum's neighbour leaned over the garden fence to tell me that "the universe only gives you what you can handle." The very next...
A letter to myself about surviving the loss of our baby angel
You're sitting on the bathroom floor holding a plastic wand with two pink lines, completely oblivious to the fact that in exactly twenty-two weeks, you'll be sitting on this exact same tile holding a cardboard memory box from the hospital....
Life with a newborn: Survival tactics from a tired pediatric nurse
I spent my first week at home with my son staring at a spreadsheet I built to track his bowel movements. It was three in the morning, my nursing scrub top was stained with spit-up, and I was holding a...
Surviving the Heartbreak Nobody Wants to Talk About
Don't bring a grieving mother a tuna casserole and tell her that God just needed another angel. I was standing in my kitchen, wearing the same stained sweatpants Iβd had on for three days, holding a lukewarm Pyrex dish while...
Miss Nikki Baby, Rainbow Babies, and Tuning Out the Internet Noise
I spent the entirety of my second pregnancy locked in the downstairs half-bath, doom-scrolling baby forums until my legs fell asleep and my phone battery hit two percent. I was convinced every tiny twinge was a catastrophe, and I was...
The Complicated Reality of Expecting After a Loss
The paper sheet on the examination table crinkled with a sound so violently loud it seemed to echo off the drab walls of the University College Hospital fetal medicine unit. It was a Tuesday, it was raining in that relentless,...
What Is a Rainbow Baby? The Beautiful, Messy, Anxious Reality
I was standing in the wildly unflattering fluorescent lighting of a Buc-ee's bathroom off I-35 when I saw the two pink lines. My oldest, who's a walking cautionary tale of why you shouldn't let a toddler eat a powdered donut...