Magazine

Dad holding a confusing pile of black cotton leggings while baby crawls away.

The baumwoll leggins damen obsession: Decoding my wife's closet

I'm standing in our Portland basement at 11:45 PM, staring at a laundry basket that appears to contain fourteen identical black fabric tubes. Our eleven-month-old just successfully executed a tactical diaper blowout ten minutes after falling asleep, which means I'm...

Read more

Mom drinking coffee in a fitted shirt while toddler plays on the floor

My Complete Breakdown Over The Trendy Baby Tee Crop Top Phase

It was exactly 9:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I was bent at a perfect ninety-degree angle over the damp sand at Centennial Park, frantically trying to dig what looked like a half-chewed cigarette butt out of my four-year-old Maya’s...

Read more

A heavily chewed organic cotton bunny lovey resting on a crib mattress.

The Absolute Truth About Your Toddler and Their Blanket Bunny

Some mom in Lincoln Park is currently telling me her ten-month-old doesn't need "props" to self-soothe while we stand by the infant swings. She is wearing cashmere to a playground. Her kid is actively gnawing on a literal piece of...

Read more

A messy living room floor with a half empty coffee mug next to a wooden baby play gym

The Honest Brand Ambassador Position Description For Parents

It's exactly 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm currently sitting on my hallway floor wearing a stained Nirvana t-shirt from 2004 and precisely one sock. I'm trying to bribe my four-year-old, Maya, to stop licking the baseboards long enough...

Read more

A worn out baby security blanket with a stuffed rabbit head on a crib mattress

The 3 AM bunny and blanket crisis that broke me

My hands were elbow-deep in a hamper of sour-smelling sleep sacks at three in the morning. The radiator in our Chicago apartment was making that metallic rhythmic clanking sound it always makes when it drops below zero outside. From the...

Read more

A messy living room floor with a round waterproof baby mat and wooden toys.

How I Finally Found a Play Activity Mat That Did Not Drive Me Crazy

When I was pregnant with my oldest, Tucker, I swear everybody had a loud opinion on where exactly the baby was supposed to exist when I wasn't holding him. My grandmother told me to just throw a handmade quilt on...

Read more

A spilled cup of coffee next to a locked tablet on a kitchen floor

How A Baby Ashlee OnlyFans Search Completely Changed My Screen Rules

It was exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the specific patch of our kitchen floor where the grout has been missing since 2019. I was wearing yoga pants that definitely had a crusty yogurt stain...

Read more

Baby playing independently with wooden toys on a soft organic playmat

Why I Stopped Entertaining My Baby (And What Happened Next)

I was sitting on my living room floor in a puddle of my own postpartum sweat, aggressively waving a black-and-white high-contrast flashcard in my oldest son’s face. He was eight months old at the time and violently uninterested, choosing instead...

Read more

Mother holding a baby's hand while discussing infant jewelry safety

Dear Past Me: Read This Before Buying An Infant Name Bracelet

Dear Sarah from six months ago. I know exactly where you're standing right now. It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and you're in the kitchen wearing Dave's gray Villanova hoodie with the mystery yogurt stain on the cuff. You're holding...

Read more