The Great Staircase Panic: A Messy Guide to Baby Gates
It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, I was wearing one wool sock and one ankle sock, and I had my back turned to the living room for exactly four seconds to pour my second cup of coffee....
Why I Tossed My Plastic Toys For A Wooden Spielbogen Baby Gym
It was 2:00 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on my living room rug nursing a lukewarm coffee while a giant plastic jungle gym flashed neon green lights directly into my six-week-old's eyeballs. The thing was blaring some...
Finding The Right Baby Carrier Without Losing Your Mind
I'm standing next to our ridiculously tiny baby car in the pouring rain in a grocery store parking lot, crying over a twenty-foot piece of stretchy bamboo fabric. Leo is exactly four weeks old, screaming from the depths of his...
The Great VTech Baby Monitor Experiment (A Dad's Honest Take)
I spent the first three months of my twin daughtersβ lives doing exactly what you shouldnβt do: I bought a terrifyingly cheap, unbranded camera off the internet that broadcasted grainy, unencrypted footage of my children directly to, presumably, a server...
Hacking The System: Why A Walmart Baby Registry Actually Makes Sense
Sitting at my kitchen island at 11 PM, my wife Sarah and I were staring at a beautifully curated, ultra-minimalist single gift list on a boutique website. The screen was filled with $140 organic linen wipe warmers and hand-carved Swedish...
The day I thought a rap star was a Scandinavian stroller
Tuesday, 4:15 PM. The rain is violently attacking our living room windows and I'm wearing a pair of black maternity leggings that haven't seen the inside of a washing machine since the Obama administration. I'm holding my third lukewarm coffee...
Bringing Your Newborn Home Without Losing Your Mind
I was wedged between a breast pump box and a diaper bag in the back of my husband's F-150, clutching the plastic handle of the infant carrier like we were off-roading, even though he was driving twelve miles an hour...
Why I Totally Regret Boycotting the Baby Changing Table Setup
It's 4:12 AM. Maya is exactly four weeks old, and I'm on my knees on a faux-flokati rug from Target that I previously thought was, like, incredibly chic. Mustard-yellow newborn poop is currently seeping into the synthetic fibers while I...
Surviving The 3 AM Pacing Routine With A New Baby Bjorn Carrier
I'm swaying in front of the microwave. The glowing green clock says 3:14 AM, and I'm currently wearing my husband Dave's stained college fraternity t-shirt, which smells faintly of old milk and desperation. Leo is exactly three weeks old, and...