Magazine

Exhausted dad staring at a thick knitted jumper with impossible wooden buttons

Surviving the cursed reality of the chunky knit baby outfit

We were at my mother-in-law's house for Boxing Day when I realised we had made a terrible mistake. The thermostat in her living room was set to what I can only describe as "equatorial," and the twins were both strapped...

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A tired dad looking at a disorganized pile of aesthetic baby gifts.

The truth about baby gift boxes and the newborn denim delusion

It was day four of being a dad, precisely 2:14 AM. The baby was actually asleep, which felt like a trap, but I was too exhausted to care. I was standing in our living room illuminated only by the microwave...

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Exhausted dad holding a fussy baby wearing organic cotton clothes at 3 AM.

Debugging the Strick Baby: How We Fixed Our Fussy Trick Baby

The clock on the microwave said 3:14 AM, glowing in that menacing green font that just mocks your life choices. My son, who during the day usually resembles a slightly drunk, happy old man, was currently arched backward in my...

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Sarah sitzt verzweifelt vor einem riesigen Berg aussortierter Babykleidung, in der Hand eine kalte Tasse Kaffee.

Mein absurder Kampf mit Fast Fashion und warum ich fast alles wegge...

Es war 2 Uhr morgens, ich trug eine graue Jogginghose, auf der undefinierbare, verkrustete Süßkartoffel-Brei-Reste klebten, und starrte auf einen gigantischen Berg von Babyklamotten. So richtig grelle, chemisch riechende Neondinosaurier-Strampler aus Poly-irgendwas und Hosen, die sich anfühlten wie aufgeweichtes Plastik....

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A tired dad holding two toddlers wearing organic retro tshirts while surrounded by laundry.

The Absurdity of Sourcing Genuine Retro Tshirts for Toddler Twins

I'm currently standing in a painfully hip vintage shop somewhere in the depths of Shoreditch, holding a faded 1994 Soundgarden t-shirt roughly the size of a tea towel, while my daughter Lily attempts to eat a price tag that says...

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Two toddlers in smudged party dresses intensely inspecting a dropped piece of wedding cake

Festkleider Kinder: Surviving Toddler Party Wear In One Piece

"Put them in traditional taffeta, it builds character," my mother declared over a lukewarm cup of Earl Grey, adjusting her glasses as if inspecting my parenting credentials for microscopic flaws. "Just get those matching velvet twin suits from Instagram," my...

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A visibly exhausted dad wiping spaghetti off a wall while twin toddlers hold silicone spoons.

The Great Spaghetti Bolognese Incident and Feeding Set Truths

There's a very specific, hollow sound that a ceramic bowl makes when it hits a hardwood floor after being launched from the terrifying altitude of an Ikea highchair. It's a sound that instantly ages you five years. It was a...

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A dad staring confused at a massive pile of complicated baby shower gifts

Decoding The Perfect Infant Gift Set Without Crashing Your System

I'm currently staring at a miniature denim jacket that features six fully functional, incredibly stiff metal buttons. My son is eleven months old now, but when he was a newborn, someone handed us a beautifully wrapped box containing this rigid...

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Exhausted mom looking at a baby monitor next to a crib

The 3 AM Panic That Turned Me Into A Baby Sleep Bag Evangelist

It’s 3:14 AM and I'm standing perfectly still in the hallway outside my daughter's nursery, wearing a pair of my husband’s boxer briefs and a maternity tank top that smells aggressively like sour milk. I’m holding my phone inches from...

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