Writing a Baby Shower Card When You Have No Idea What to Say
I was standing in the greeting card aisle at the local Portland Fred Meyer, holding a pastel yellow card featuring a deeply anatomically incorrect stork, completely paralyzed. I had solicited advice from three different people on what to write in...
That 3AM Panic Search: How To Tell If The Babys All Right Now
The glow of my phone screen was the only light in the nursery, illuminating the half-eaten Hobnob I had abandoned on the nursing chair. It was 3:14 AM. Twin A (who we had quietly designated the Loud One) was making...
A Letter to Past Me About the Illusion of the Perfect Baby Swing
Hey Marcus from six months ago. It's November, it's raining in Portland again, and you're currently staring at a $250 motorized bucket that oscillates at exactly 43 beats per minute while you pray it'll silence the tiny human who has...
Before and After: Surviving the Panic of Your Kid's Baby Steps
I'm sitting on the floor of our living room. Itβs a Tuesday in late 2021, and I'm wearing a pair of black leggings that have a mystery yogurt stain crusted onto the left knee. My son, Leo, who's thirteen months...
Why I Finally Caved and Bought a Play Area for My Kids
It was a Tuesday morning in late 2017, and I was wearing a pair of black yoga pants that had a highly questionable smear of sweet potato puree on the left thigh. Maya was seven months old, which meant she...
Dear Past Me: What I Wish I Knew Before Buying Nike Baby Shoes
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently standing in the pouring rain outside a shop window in Covent Garden, staring at a pair of miniature high-tops while your twin daughters attempt to dismantle the rain cover of their Bugaboo...
What Nobody Tells You About Having A Premature Baby At 33 Weeks
It was three in the morning on a Tuesday when the bradycardia alarm went off. The overhead lights in the neonatal intensive care unit were that specific shade of hospital fluorescent that makes everyone look mildly deceased. I was staring...
Dear Jess: Surviving the Baby in Yellow Phase (And Other Shocks)
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the peeling linoleum of the downstairs bathroom at 3 AM, holding your three-day-old up to the harsh vanity lights, trying to figure out if you're sleep-deprived and hallucinating or if...
Dear Past Me: The Chaos of Finding a Baby Hedgehog
Dear Sarah from last October, You're currently standing on the back patio holding your third cup of lukewarm coffee, wearing those faded black Lululemons with the tiny hole in the left knee that you swore you were going to throw...