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The completely unhinged truth about buying a newborn knit onesie
I was exactly 37 weeks pregnant with Maya, sweating through a maternity tank top that had a permanent grease stain from a rogue french fry I dropped during my second trimester, when the great clothing wars officially began. We were...
The Truth About Infant Sun Shirts (And Why Your Baby is Sweating)
I was standing in the middle of the H-E-B parking lot in late July, wrestling what felt like a wet fruit roll-up off my screaming four-month-old. Jackson, my oldest and forever my cautionary tale, was beet red and slick with...
My Honest Erstausstattung Winterbaby Survival Guide For Moms
It's mid-November, I'm standing in our tiny apartment hallway in maternity leggings that honestly smell vaguely like sour milk, and I'm sweating profusely while drinking lukewarm coffee because my three-week-old son Leo looks exactly like a furious, red-faced marshmallow. I...
Cardigan Infant Wardrobe: Why I Burned All My Pullovers
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sweating through my only clean pair of maternity leggings in the parking lot of a Target. Leo was exactly three weeks old, screaming like I was actively injuring him, and...
Why I Finally Put My Kid in Vintage Shirts (And Didn't Panic)
I was standing in the middle of our living room holding a 1993 Soundgarden tour tee with a pair of silicone kitchen tongs. My wife, Sarah, was watching me from the hallway with the exact same expression she uses when...
Dear Past Jess: The Truth About Chasing That Pampers Rebate
Dear Jess from exactly six months ago, I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting cross-legged on the rug in the living room, surrounded by three massive, empty cardboard boxes from HEB. Your toddler is currently using a...
The Truth About the Country Baby Tee Trend for Actual Babies
Halfway through trying to pull a stiff, mustard-yellow flannel over my six-month-old's head, I heard a seam pop. He was turning a concerning shade of magenta. His arms were pinned awkwardly against his ears, trapping him in a sort of...
Why Most Toddler Khaki Shorts Belong Straight In The Garbage
Three different people gave me completely conflicting instructions about dressing my kid for my cousin's outdoor wedding last summer. My mother-in-law cornered me at the mehndi to declare that a proper beta needs stiff, pleated trousers to look respectable in...
The Messy Reality of Children's Neckerchiefs
My mother-in-law stood in my Chicago kitchen last November holding a knitted wool scarf, insisting that if I didn't wrap my son's neck immediately, the draft would settle in his chest and give him pneumonia. Three hours later, a woman...