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Why The Peppa Pig Baby Gender Reveal Sent Me Into a Tailspin
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the faded blue IKEA rug in the den. You're wearing those grey sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh, drinking coffee that went cold two hours...
Why The Oho Enthan Baby Movie Is Our Date Night Survival Test
The biggest lie the parenting industrial complex ever sold us is the concept of the 8:00 PM transition. You know the one I meanβthe mythical hour where the house suddenly falls silent, the ambient lighting turns universally flattering, and you...
What Every Parent Needs to Know About the 'Baby Jeeter' Scare
I was on my hands and knees under my younger brother Tylerβs incredibly ugly leather sofa, fishing out a rogue handful of cheerios that had somehow become cemented in golden retriever hair, when I saw it. A brightly colored, tiny...
Surviving Twins With Baby Lyrics: Justin Bieber To The Rescue
Tuesday, 5:43 AM. Florence (Twin A) has somehow managed to lodge a piece of dried Weetabix perfectly up her left nostril, while Matilda (Twin B) is executing a flawless, lung-busting temper tantrum because her water is, in her professional two-year-old...
What Being a Baby Mama Actually Means Off the Internet
I was sitting on the floor of my guest bedroomβwhich I generously call my "Etsy shipping headquarters"βwith packing tape stuck to my thigh, listening to a 90s hip-hop playlist, when a song came on loudly dropping the phrase "baby mama."...
The 2 AM Google Panic: What a "Baby Drill" Actually Means Today
It was exactly 2:14 AM when the daycare app pushed a notification to my phone. I was already awake because D (that's how my son is logged in my sleep-tracker spreadsheet, just "Baby D" to save keystrokes at three in...
How to Take Good Newborn Photos Without Losing Your Damn Mind
I was sweating through my third nursing tank of the day, teetering on a dining room chair with my iPhone hovering over my oldest son, Leo, who was currently screaming his head off in a hand-knitted Yoda costume my mom...
Why I Finally Stopped Fighting the Whole Pastel Baby Pink Phase
It was late October 2017, and I was standing in the middle of Target wearing a heather-gray maternity sweater that smelled faintly of the iced Americano I had spilled down my front three hours earlier. I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant...
The Truth About Those Perfect Baby Playing Quotes I Used To Hate
It was exactly 3:14 AM. I know this because the glowing green numbers on our cheap digital alarm clock were basically burning holes into my sleep-deprived retinas. I was sitting in the grey nursing glider we bought off Craigslistβthe one...