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Building an amazon baby shower registry without losing your mind
It's 3:14 in the morning, the absolute peak hour for making terrible life choices, and I'm deep in the algorithmic trenches of the internet. My wife is fast asleep. I, however, am wide awake and researching wipe warmers. I've just...
Buy Buy Baby Registry: What I Wish I Knew Before Building v1.0
I'm currently sitting on my living room floor, surrounded by a mountain of collapsed cardboard, trying to figure out how to process a return for a piece of modular stroller suspension that I clearly ordered in a sleep-deprived fugue state....
Why Everyone Lies About Receiving Blankets On Baby Registries
I was exactly twenty-three weeks pregnant with my oldest, standing in the middle of a big box store aisle in town with that little plastic registry scanner gun, staring at a four-pack of flannel squares while my mom insisted we...
Surviving Baby Clothing Stores Without Losing Your Damn Mind
It was 7:45 PM on a random Tuesday in 2016, and I was standing in aisle four of one of those massive, fluorescent-lit baby clothing stores, eight months pregnant with Maya, sweating through a mustard-stained maternity tank top. My husband,...
The baby registry target reality check: What you actually need
"You don't need anything except a box of diapers and some onesies," my mother-in-law announced over her Pinot Grigio at my baby shower, which was aggressively unhelpful considering I was already sweating through my maternity leggings. Then my best friend...
The brutal reality of picking baby shower invitations for a girl
I was twenty-six weeks pregnant, eating fruit antacids like they were candy, staring at my laptop at two in the morning. The screen was a sea of aggressively pink digital paper. The search query was simple enough. I was just...
The Babies R Us Registry Panic: A Letter to My Anxious Past Self
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driverβs seat of your Subaru in the parking lot of a Kohlβs, wearing those black leggings that have the weird hole near the knee, and you're literally vibrating...
The Only Baby Registry List That Won't Make You Lose Your Mind
I was sitting on the surprisingly sticky linoleum floor in aisle 14 of Target, holding one of those plastic registry scanner guns like it was a literal weapon, and I was openly weeping. It was a Tuesday. I was seven...
The 2 AM Envelope Meltdown and Other Baby Shower Realities
It was exactly 11:43 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on my living room rug wearing my husbandβs stained college sweatpants, aggressively stress-eating cold leftover macaroni and cheese out of a Tupperware container. Spread out around me were...