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How Much Does It Cost to Have a Baby? A Twin Dad's Honest Maths
I'm currently sitting on the kitchen floor at eleven o'clock at night, staring at my Monzo app while Twin A attempts to aggressively eat a Sainsbury's receipt and Twin B sleeps heavily across my left foot. I can't feel my...
The Tous Baby Consumer Trap: What I Wish I Knew Six Months Ago
Hey Jess. You're currently sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of the Target baby aisle, roughly seven months pregnant with baby number three, crying over whether to buy a sixty-dollar wipe warmer that has a built-in nightlight and Bluetooth speaker....
When You Google 'Sorry Baby' Showtimes Looking for Toddler Entertai...
It was 6:43 PM on a Tuesday, which in this house we affectionately refer to as the witching hour, and my oldest had just colored the dogβs tail with a blue Sharpie. I was elbows-deep in a sink full of...
The reality of raising millennial Shrek babies in a modern world
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last week to tell me that if I let my toddler watch animated ogres, he'll develop aggressive tendencies and start throwing onions at the dog. Ten minutes later, my millennial best friend texted...
She's Having a Baby: A Clueless Dad's Guide to Newborn Survival
Don't pack an extension cord, a multi-port USB hub, and three different bluetooth speakers in the hospital bag. This is my first and most critical piece of advice. I was standing in our Portland living room with a color-coded spreadsheet...
Run Baby Run: The Messy Reality of Jogging With Your Kid
I'm wrestling a standard, rigid four-wheeled city stroller over a massive, gnarly tree root on a Tuesday morning at 7 AM. I'm wearing my black Lululemon leggingsβthe ones with the weird yogurt stain on the left thigh that I haven't...
The Honest Truth About Play Mats For Babies
I was on my hands and knees with a spray bottle of carpet cleaner, frantically scrubbing neon yellow newborn poop out of our cheap apartment carpeting, while my oldest screamed his absolute head off in a bouncy seat nearby. It...
The Truth Behind the Missing Baby Yucaipa Panic
The rain was pounding on the windshield of my Honda Odyssey in a Chicago Target parking lot. I was sitting there with the engine idling, watching my toddler sleep in his car seat, dreading the moment I had to wake...
The Real Truth About How to Make a Baby Survive the First Year
I was standing in the kitchen at 4:13 a.m., wearing a dressing gown that smelled distinctly of sour milk, frantically pumping my daughter's tiny legs like she was participating in the Tour de France. My wife was hunched over the...