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Toddler playing with soft building blocks on the floor

A letter to myself before I pressed play on that movie

Dear Priya from six months ago. Listen. Put down the television remote and step away from the streaming menu. I know it's eight in the evening, your toddler has been screaming about steering wheels since naptime, and you're operating on...

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baby bottlescleaninghumorproduct guidesurvivaltwin dad
Sleep-deprived dad staring at a Baby Brezza Bottle Washer Pro on a kitchen counter

Why the Baby Brezza Bottle Washer Pro ruined my kitchen sink

It's 3:14 AM. The yellow glow of the kitchen extractor fan is casting long, dramatic shadows across the worktop, and my left sleeve is completely soaked in tepid, sour-smelling milky water because I didn't roll it up high enough. I'm...

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Confused dad holding twin toddlers and looking at a smartphone

What I Learned When I Googled the Meaning of Baby Booter

There I was, scraping what I can only assume was fossilised Weetabix off the kitchen skirting board, while my twin daughters, Maya and Zoe, were busy conducting a very loud, off-beat symphony with two wooden spoons and a saucepan. They...

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Babybaby sleephumororganic baby clothesParenting Guideteething
Tired dad singing to his 11-month-old baby in a dark Portland nursery

Hush Little Baby Bribes: A Late Night Letter To My Past Self

Hey Marcus of exactly six months ago. You're standing in the dark right now, aren't you? It's 3:14 AM. The nursery thermostat reads exactly 68.4 degrees because you checked the app three times. Your left shoulder is completely numb, you've...

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Exhausted dad holding a baby while looking at a smartphone in a dark nursery

How a 3AM "CD Baby" Mix-Up Accidentally Fixed Our Sleep

The nursery thermostat read exactly 69.5 degrees, the humidifier was pumping at a steady 40 percent output, and my 11-week-old daughter was emitting a continuous, high-pitched frequency that felt like it was physically vibrating my teeth. It was 3:14 AM...

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baby clothesdevelopmenthumornewbornorganicParenting Guide
A clumsy oversized baby resembling the Baby Huey cartoon trope

Raising a Baby Huey: When Your Infant Is Off the Charts

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was losing a wrestling match against a seven-month-old. The left leg went into the sleep sack fine, but the right leg was suddenly entirely incompatible with the fabric, mostly because the...

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90s nostalgiababy toyshumormotherhoodsurvival
A disassembled plastic doll sitting next to a damp cloth and forceps

The surgical reality of buying a baby alive doll for your kid

It's eleven at night. The lighting in my guest bathroom is deeply unflattering. I'm holding a pair of stainless steel tweezers in my right hand and my phone flashlight in my left. Pinned firmly beneath my elbow is a rigid...

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90s nostalgiababy registryhumormotherhoodorganic cottonParenting Guide
Frantic dad trying to shop for baby gear online with twins

The Great Megastore Myth and What Babies Actually Need

The most long-standing lie of modern parenting is that you can't safely extract a newborn from the hospital without first making a pilgrimage to a brightly lit, warehouse-sized retail behemoth. I distinctly remember sitting in the dark at 3am, furiously...

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babyhumormaternal mental healthparenthoodparenting tipssurvival
A tired dad holding a coffee mug while looking at a baby monitor screen

The Unfiltered Reality of the Kat Timpf Baby News

It was 3:14 AM. The baby monitor on my nightstand was glowing a menacing green, reading exactly 68.2 degrees, and I was doomscrolling Twitter in that hazy, caffeinated purgatory between sleep cycles. I think the biggest myth about celebrity baby...

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