Magazine

A blurry 4D ultrasound photo of a baby that looks slightly like an extraterrestrial

When your 4D ultrasound baby alien leaked on the family group chat

The ultrasound gel was freezing, and the sonographer whose name tag said Brenda was pushing the wand into my bladder with the force of a hydraulic press. We were at the 20-week anatomy scan. The monitor in the dark room...

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A very sticky toddler looking confused while holding a rib

Dear Tom: Put down the Sweet Baby Ray's immediately

Dear Tom of six months ago. It's Sunday afternoon, you're standing in the back garden holding a plastic squeeze bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's, and you're about to make a terrible, deeply sticky mistake. I know exactly what you're thinking....

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Toddler throwing a tantrum like a Hollywood celebrity

What The Nepo Baby Trend Actually Means For Your Everyday Toddler

I was peeling the skin off a single green grape for my toddler when my sister-in-law texted me a screenshot of a celebrity magazine cover. My phone lit up on the kitchen counter while I carefully sliced the fruit into...

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A tired dad holding a toddler who is aggressively wielding a wooden toy

What Is Love Baby Dont Hurt Me: Toddlers & 90s Dance Anthems

It's 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm currently bleeding quite profusely from the bridge of my nose while mentally reviewing the Billboard Hot 100 charts from 1993. My left eye is watering. My dignity left the building sometime during...

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Exhausted British twin dad holding a wooden baby gym in a messy living room

How to Be a Rich Baby Daddy Without Actually Having Any Money

I'm standing in a painfully well-lit Marylebone baby boutique at eleven in the morning on a Tuesday, holding a Β£400 self-rocking bassinet, while one of my two-year-old twins actively attempts to eat a display shoe. The sales assistant is looking...

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Dad sitting by a wooden baby gym researching Tommy Richman track meanings on his phone

What Are the Tommy Richman Million Dollar Baby Lyrics About?

My coworker Dave pinged me on Slack Tuesday morning to say I desperately needed to block a certain new Tommy Richman song on Spotify because the themes were way too mature for my house. Two hours later, my mother-in-law called...

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A tired mom holding a teething baby while a puppy chews on a toy

When Do Puppies Lose Their Baby Teeth? An Exhausted Mom's Guide

Yesterday at the feed store, old man Miller told me to just give our new mutt pup an old leather work boot to chew on and call it a day. Then I check my phone and my sister texts me...

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Toddler looking confused at a tablet playing pop music videos

Why "Yes Baby Madison Beer" Is Not A Sleep Training Guide

The biggest lie we tell ourselves as modern parents is that the internet’s search bar is a safe space so long as it contains the word "baby." I learned this the hard way last Tuesday afternoon, sitting on the edge...

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Exhausted dad staring at a massive pile of wet wipes in a messy London nursery

A letter to my past self about the quest for superior baby wipes

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently standing in the semi-darkness of the nursery at 4:12 AM, attempting to perform a minor miracle while Twin A tries to kick you in the face and Twin B wails in aggressive...

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