Late Night TV, DNA & Is Will The Father Of Luna's Baby
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago: You're currently sitting on the blue exercise ball in the middle of our living room, bouncing precisely 62 times a minute in the dark. It's 3:14 AM, the baby is five months old,...
Why explicit industry baby lyrics are ruining my mornings now
The digital clock said 5:42 AM. The sky over Chicago was the color of wet concrete, and my coffee hadn't even finished dripping. I turned my back for three seconds to grab a mug. That was enough time for my...
I Want You To Be Mine Again Baby: Fetty Wap & Postpartum Love
Before the twins were born, I made the fatal error of asking people for advice on what to play for them audibly. My mum, firmly rooted in the pseudo-science of the late nineties, insisted that playing classical symphonies would instantly...
Taylor Swift Baby: Surviving Pop Culture With Twins
I was quite literally elbow-deep in silver sequins and non-toxic fabric glue at a quarter to eleven on a Tuesday night when my wife casually dropped the magazine on the kitchen island. The headline was screaming about the latest Travis...
Don't You Want Me Like I Want You Baby Lyrics & Toddler Drama
The absolute biggest lie the parenting industry ever managed to sell us is that your Spotify Wrapped needs to look like an eighteenth-century Austrian composer's fever dream for your kid to get into a good kindergarten. I was standing in...
The Absolute Truth About What A Baby Booter Actually Means
It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged between a cot and a towering pile of unsorted laundry, typing with my less dominant thumb while one of the twins uses my left shoulder as a surprisingly absorbent drool rag. I'm simply trying to...
The Truth About Taylor Swift and the Pressure on Women to Have Kids
When I was twenty-nine, I was sitting in a aggressively air-conditioned Starbucks wearing leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since Tuesday, crying into a venti iced macchiato because I had just received three completely conflicting pieces...
Did Jessica Sanchez Finally Have Her Baby? A Postpartum Warning
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of our terribly drafted London flat, attempting to assemble a twin nursing pillow that looks like a life raft, while your wife glowers at you from her birthing...
Is Cry Baby John Waters For Kids? (Plus Actual Infant Crying)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was pretty sure I was hallucinating. Leo was six weeks old and screaming like I was actively harming him, his tiny face turning a shade of purple I didn't know existed...