Magazine

A stressed mom holding a coffee mug and looking at a tablet screen in confusion in a bathroom.

Dear Me: Why "Sweet Baby Inc Detected" Isn't A Recall

You're currently sitting on the freezing hexagonal tiles of your downstairs half-bath at 2:14 AM. The house is completely silent except for the low, rhythmic sound of Dave snoring through the baby monitor and the hum of the refrigerator. You're...

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Exhausted dad looking at a baby monitor and analyzing sleep data on a laptop.

The Myth of the Perfect Infant: Debugging Your First Months

I spent the first three weeks of my son's life waiting for him to become a compliant user. You know the cultural trope we're all soldβ€”the angelic, soft-focus newborn sleeping peacefully in a bassinet while the parents drink hot coffee....

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Pale British father covered in zinc oxide chasing two toddlers with sun cream.

Raising a Sun Baby: A Pale British Father’s Guide to UV Survival

Maya is currently doing an impressive impression of an oiled piglet at a country fair, streaking across the scorched grass of Clapham Common while I trail a few paces behind her with a handful of thick, chalky white zinc cream....

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Toddler reaching for a colorful candy wrapper on a kitchen counter

The Honest Truth About Giving Sugar Candy To Babies Before Two

Listen. My mother-in-law had a literal sugar babies candy poised right over my six-month-old's mouth at a family Diwali party last year. I intercepted that little caramel nugget like an off-duty linebacker. She looked at me like I'd just slapped...

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Exhausted dad looking at baby clothes after a late night internet search

The tatu baby search that completely broke my dad brain at 2 AM

2:14 AM. The nursery is exactly 68.5 degrees. The white noise machine is pushing out a continuous loop of brown noise at precisely 42 decibels. My 11-month-old daughter is asleep on my chest, breathing 32 times a minute. I know...

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Dad staring blankly at television while twin toddlers destroy the living room

When The Baby-Sitters Club Makes You Question Your Parenting

I was wedged between the living room radiator and a pile of inexplicably sticky building blocks at 5:43 AM on a Tuesday when it happened. Twin A was aggressively gumming a slightly stale rice cake, Twin B was trying to...

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A mother holding her newborn baby in a hospital room

Why nobody warns you about ugly babies and how to survive them

I spent four hours in the maternity ward trying to find an Instagram filter that would make my son look less like a bruised, angry potato. I know we aren't supposed to say that out loud. You're supposed to weep...

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Toddler throwing a tantrum like a Hollywood celebrity

What The Nepo Baby Trend Actually Means For Your Everyday Toddler

I was peeling the skin off a single green grape for my toddler when my sister-in-law texted me a screenshot of a celebrity magazine cover. My phone lit up on the kitchen counter while I carefully sliced the fruit into...

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A confused dad holding a bottle of baby oil next to a baby bath

The Ultimate Dad’s Guide to What Baby Oil Is Actually Used For

I was sitting on the floor of our living room, sweating through my t-shirt, trying to peel a heavy-duty waterproof band-aid off my eleven-month-old's thigh without triggering a level-five meltdown. He had scraped his leg on a rogue piece of...

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