The Honest Parent Guide to the Baby Guinness Shot
It was nine at night on a Tuesday and my toddler was treating our living room like a hostile takeover. Rohan had three molars breaking through his gums simultaneously and I was doing the classic parent sway in the kitchen,...
What A 3 AM Bird Search Taught Me About Surviving The Newborn Phase
I was standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM wearing my husband's college sweatpants that had this unidentifiable crust on the left knee, vibrating with the kind of exhaustion that makes your teeth hurt. Leo was about four weeks old...
Why I Hosed Down Our Newton Baby Crib Mattress at 2 AM
It was 3:14 AM. The infrared glow of the Nanit monitor showed a gray, pixelated blob that used to be my daughter, but now she was completely face-down. Smashed directly into the mattress fibers. I watched the screen, waiting for...
Debugging Dinner: A Dad's Guide to Oven-Baked Baby Back Ribs
My dad told me that if I didn't cook them over hickory wood on a custom offset charcoal smoker, I was committing a culinary felony. My neighbor Dave leaned over the fence on Tuesday and insisted the only way to...
Why That 81mg Baby Aspirin Bottle Is A Massive Parenting Trap
The digital clock on the microwave read 2:14 AM, the Portland rain was actively trying to dissolve our roof, and my 11-month-old son felt exactly like a MacBook Pro rendering 4K video on your bare legs. I was frantically bouncing...
Reading the Adriana Smith Baby Update at 2 AM Broke My Brain
It was 2:14 AM, the Portland rain was actively trying to dissolve my bedroom window, and I was holding my 11-month-old son while he slept. I had convinced myself he was developing some rare respiratory bug because my data tracking...
Is It Teething or That Dreaded Ear Infection? My 3 AM Guide
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. Maya was about seven months old, and I was wearing a pair of gray sweatpants that definitely had mashed avocado crusted onto the left knee from lunch. My husband was pacing the living...
The absolute truth about lullabies for babies and infant sleep
I'm standing in the middle of our Chicago apartment and the radiator is hissing that metallic, dry heat sound. It's 3:14 in the morning. My son is four months old, his face is the color of a bruised plum, and...
The midnight baby meme: surviving internet chaos and newborn life
Listen. The absolute worst thing you can do at 2:42 AM when your infant is staring at the ceiling like they owe it money is open a sleep training forum. I used to do this. I'd sit in the dark,...