Lil Baby My Turn: Surviving The 3 AM Parenting Night Shift
I'm standing in our kitchen at 2:13 AM, bathed in the sickly yellow glow of the microwave clock, staring at a slightly damp muslin cloth while holding a bottle that's somehow simultaneously burning hot on the outside and completely freezing...
The Messy Reality of Being a Baby's Mom: Surviving Newborns
I was sitting on my bathroom floor at 2:14 AM with a broken breast pump in one hand and a half-eaten sleeve of stale saltines in the other, aggressively weeping because my golden retriever, Buster, looked at me wrong. My...
Surviving Year One: Letter To My Clueless Past Self (baby_jul1)
You're currently standing in the baby aisle of John Lewis, staring at a wall of breast pumps with the terrified, vacant expression of a man who has just been told an asteroid is hurtling toward Earth. I know this because...
The Great 3 AM Lie About Your Baby's Sleep Schedule
I was sitting on the very edge of our squeaky nursery glider at 3:14 AM with my firstborn, glaring at a four-dollar tracking app on my phone that was flashing a red warning to tell me my three-week-old was "off...
The 2 AM FaceTime: My Honest Baby Tylenol Dosage Chart
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently standing in your dark kitchen at 2:14 AM wearing Dave's oversized college hoodie that smells faintly of damp basement. You're holding a lukewarm mug of yesterday's coffee because you somehow think...
The Reality Behind 'Me As A Baby' Memes: A Letter To Past Marcus
You're currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub at 2:14 AM, staring at the baby monitor app on your phone, trying to figure out why your five-month-old son sounds like a dial-up modem struggling to connect to a bad...
Dear Past Me: Miss Shachiku and the Little Baby Ghost is a Warning
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently wedged between the bulk-sized paper towels and the dog food bin in the pantry. It's 2:14 AM. You're wearing Dave's gray college sweatpantsβthe ones with that unidentifiable crusty bleach stain on...
How to Survive the Moro Reflex in Babies Without Losing Your Mind
Itβs two in the morning in 2019, and I'm hovering over a bassinet with my oldest, Jackson, holding my breath until my lungs actually burn. Iβve done the sway, the aggressive shushing, the hour-long rocking chair marathon, and he's finally...
Is the Newton Baby Crib Mattress Really Worth Three Hundred Bucks?
My mom told me to put my firstborn on his stomach with a heavy quilt "so he feels secure like he's still in the womb." The lactation consultant at the hospital swore he needed to sleep on my bare chest...