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90s nostalgiaapparelfootwearparenting humourtwin dad
Two tiny baby jordans scattered across a messy living room floor next to a chewed silicone teether

Dear Past Tom: The Expensive, Absurd Reality of Baby Jordans

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sweating through your grey t-shirt, pinning Florence between your knees while attempting to force her inexplicably square, fleshy foot into a miniature, stiff leather basketball shoe. She's screaming as if you've suggested...

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baby safetyfatherhoodhumourmaternal mental healthorganic baby clothes
A tired dad holding a teething toy while looking at a garden drain

How the Baby Jessica Rescue Made Me Fear My Own Back Garden

Tuesday morning, 11:14 AM. Florence has somehow managed to wedge her entire left leg into an exposed drainage pipe near the rhododendrons. I'm frozen in the doorway holding a half-empty mug of lukewarm builder's tea, watching my two-year-old attempt to...

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early developmenthumororganic baby clothesParenting Guide
Exhausted dad holding two toddlers while looking at a Spanish translation app on his phone

How to Say Baby in Spanish When You Are an Exhausted British Dad

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing barefoot in the kitchen at a quarter to four in the morning, holding a cold piece of toast and aggressively typing into a language app while both girls scream in...

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developmentearly developmenthumorhydrationmotherhoodteething
A tired mother holding a teething baby while looking at her phone in a dim room.

Why raising a toddler feels exactly like domesticating a wild mammal

It was three in the morning and my son was slick with sweat, drool, and the unmistakable rage of a creature who had just discovered teeth. He was thrashing against my chest, refusing the bottle I was offering. I was...

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BabyfeedinghumourParenting GuideSolid Food & Finger Food
A wooden baby high chair covered in an unidentifiable orange food puree

How to Buy a Baby High Chair Without Losing Your Entire Mind

I was standing in the kitchen at a quarter to ten on a Tuesday, armed with a discarded electric toothbrush and a spray bottle of white vinegar, trying to excavate petrified Weetabix from the neon-green piping of a padded seat...

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autumnholidayorganic baby clothesparenthoodsurvival
Stressed mom holding baby in a simple cotton Halloween outfit

Surviving Baby's First Halloween Without the Scratchy Tears

I was standing in the middle of a damp Texas pumpkin patch in 2019, wrestling my oldest out of a $65 synthetic lion suit while he screamed loud enough to wake the dead. The zipper was stuck in a tuft...

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The truth about surviving the baby groot merchandise invasion

I was elbow-deep under the sofa cushions on a Tuesday morning, executing a routine sweep for rogue Cheerios and whatever sticky substance had claimed the TV remote, when my fingers brushed against something hard, plastic, and distinctly anatomical. I pulled...

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baby gearbaby safetyparenthoodsafety tipssurvival
A tired mom stepping over a baby gate holding a cup of coffee

The Great Staircase Panic: A Messy Guide to Baby Gates

It was 7:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, I was wearing one wool sock and one ankle sock, and I had my back turned to the living room for exactly four seconds to pour my second cup of coffee....

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baby showermaternal mental healthmotherhoodparenthoodsurvival
A messy coffee cup on a table next to a baby monitor and scattered baby toys.

What The Baby Garnet Case Taught Me About Postpartum Survival

Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold bathroom floor at 3:14 AM. You're wearing Dave’s oversized gray fleece—the one from college that smells vaguely of sour milk and desperation—and you're staring at the grout lines...

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