Magazine
The Oxford Street Kids Clothes Shop Incident and Other Regrets
We were twenty minutes into a torrential downpour on Oxford Street when Twin A discovered a rack of heavily sequined, faux-leather mermaid trousers. Twin B, meanwhile, was systematically pulling the size stickers off every pair of denim jeans in a...
The Only Newborn Outfits You Actually Need (And What to Burn)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the window AC unit in our bedroom was fighting a losing battle against the Texas humidity. I was dripping in postpartum night sweats, sitting cross-legged on the rug in my mesh hospital...
The Truth About Newborn Onesies (And How Many You Actually Need)
Itβs 3:14 AM in November 2019. I'm standing in the glow of a nursery nightlight that's inexplicably shaped like a slice of pizza, holding a screaming, poop-covered three-week-old Maya. I'm wearing my husband's old college sweatpants which also, somehow, have...
The brutal truth about sunscreen for babies and summer safety
I'm sitting on the sand at Oak Street Beach with a three-month-old who looks like a poorly powdered donut. The wind is whipping off Lake Michigan. I'm holding a tube of thick white zinc oxide paste, trying to coat my...
How a Single Bunny Blanket Took Our Entire Family Hostage
I'm currently upside down in the backseat of our Prius with a flashlight clamped between my teeth. It's 11:43 PM. My wife is standing on the porch holding a screaming eleven-month-old, and we're tearing the car apart because we lost...
Dear Sarah: What I Wish I Knew Earlier About Bibs for Adults
Dear Sarah from last November, You're currently sitting at your mother-in-law's dining room table. It's exactly 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those grey Target sweatpants that have a mysterious bleach stain on the left knee from when...
The Truth About Baby Onesies and the 3 AM Blowout Survival Guide
It was exactly 3:14 AM on a freezing Tuesday in November 2017, and I was standing in the middle of Maya's nursery wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation. My husband, Dave, was hovering near...
The Honest Truth About Finding A Safe Newborn Teething Ring
When my oldest started gnawing his own fists off at four months, the unsolicited advice came flying at me faster than I could dodge it. My mom told me to just rub a little whiskey on his gums, my sweet...
The great baby silicone migration: a dad's troubleshooting guide
My mother-in-law texted me a picture of a 1980s plastic playpen yesterday, assuring me that my wife gnawed on the rails for months and turned out completely fine. Ten minutes later, my neighborβwho brews her own rainwater kombuchaβleaned over our...