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Baby Saja Demon Form: Pop Culture Lore vs My Real Witching Hour
It was exactly 5:14 PM on a Tuesday, which is historically the worst possible time to be alive in my house, when my seven-year-old Maya walked into the kitchen wearing one of my expensive black eyeliner pencils smeared completely across...
Why That Viral Baby Saja Trend Totally Freaked Me Out
It was 8:14 on a Tuesday morning and I was wearing Daveβs college sweatpants with a hardened crust of what I think was blueberry oatmeal on the knee, aggressively pressing the brew button on my coffee maker for the third...
Debugging 3 AM Meltdowns With The Happiest Baby On The Block
Here's exactly what you shouldn't do when your system goes down at three in the morning: try to read the manual by the light of a camping headlamp while bouncing on an exercise ball and holding a screaming infant like...
The Have a Baby With Me Daniel Caesar Lie You Actually Believe
I was sitting in my Honda CR-V in the garage with the engine off. It was a Tuesday. My toddler was finally asleep upstairs, and I was just staring at the steering wheel while the Bluetooth kept playing whatever Spotify...
The Messy Truth About Kids Losing Their Teeth (What Not To Do)
My oldest son, Beau, was standing in the bathroom hallway clutching a dirty sneaker lace, and I swear my soul left my body for a solid three seconds. I was elbow-deep in packing tape, desperately trying to box up orders...
What the Greg Gutfeld Baby News Taught Me About Newborn Chaos
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the beige living room rug that desperately needs vacuuming, aggressively rocking a screaming baby with your left foot while trying to untangle a botched macrame order for the Etsy shop...
Letter To My Sleep-Deprived Self About This Incredibly Gassy Baby
Dear Jess from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the glider in the nursery at 3:17 AM. You've got an Etsy order for fifty custom trucker hats due on Tuesday that you haven't even touched,...
When the Internet Decides Your Toddler Needs Street Cred
I was wiping smeared avocado off my toddler's chin at the local park when a pack of ten-year-olds sat on the bench next to us. One of them had a phone propped up, blasting gang baby lyrics into the humid...
The Truth About Finding A Free Baby Dragon Emote Code Online
I was standing at the kitchen island yesterday, elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop and trying to scrape dried oatmeal off a highchair tray, when my oldest shoved my iPad directly into my face. He is four and...