Parenting a Baby Wario: When Your Newborn is High-Needs
I'm standing in the dark hallway at 3:14 AM, bouncing on my heels at exactly 60 beats per minute, because any deviation in rhythm causes the 11-pound human in my arms to reboot into a full-scale meltdown. Outside, the Portland...
The $1200 Stroller Lie and What You Actually Need
I was standing in a high-end Dallas baby boutique, six months pregnant with my first, staring at a $1,400 stroller that looked like a sleek European spaceship while my husband nervously checked our checking account balance on his phone. The...
Dear Past Me: Everything I Wish I Knew About Cleaning A Tiny Tongue
Dear Past Sarah, It's 2 AM on a Tuesday. You're sitting on the living room rug, wearing that ancient Nirvana baby t-shirt from high schoolβyes, the one with the bleach hole near the hemβand you're frantically shining your iPhone flashlight...
The Truth About Buying a Baby Taylor Guitar for Kids
I'm currently watching roughly three hundred and fifty quidβs worth of solid Sitka spruce being used as a battering ram against my Ikea coffee table. My twin daughters, who possess the combined destructive power of a small localized tornado, have...
Why The Way We Do Baby Talk Actually Matters
Standing in the H-E-B checkout line back in 2019, I was balancing my oldest son on my hip while digging for my wallet, doing that incredibly high-pitched, brain-melting nonsense voice we all fall into. "Does my widdle smoosh-smoosh want his...
Why OPI's "Baby Take a Vow" Polish Caused a Panic in Our House
The smell hit me before I saw the damage. It was that sharp, chemical scent of a beauty salon, floating down the hallway and completely overpowering the faint aroma of stale oat milk and damp wool that usually defines our...
The Hilarious, Tear-Stained Baby Steps Story Every Mom Needs
There I was on my hands and knees in the middle of our living room, sweating through my third messy mom bun of the day, holding a half-eaten cheese stick like a carrot in front of a very stubborn fourteen-month-old....
How I Survived The Hunt For A Baby Sitter Without Losing My Mind
It was 11:42 PM on a Tuesday and I was wearing Dave's oversized grey college sweatpants that had a questionable bleach stain on the left knee from a laundry incident we don't discuss. I was hunched over the kitchen island,...
Why my timeline for a new baby sister is completely broken
I was staring at a plastic stick with two bright pink lines on our bathroom counter, right next to a half-chewed rice rusk that Leo, my 11-month-old, had abandoned to go fight the bath mat. My wife picked up the...