Dear Exhausted Mom: The Massive Lie About Sleeping Like a Baby
Dear Jess from six months ago, Youβre currently sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of the laundry room at 3:14 AM, trying to fold a mountain of onesies with one hand while desperately swaying a screaming newborn in your other...
How "Hush Little Baby Don't You Cry" Saved My Sanity Tonight
It was July in Texas, which means it was about 102 degrees at midnight, and our window AC unit was making a sound like a dying tractor. My oldestβwho's now four and currently serving as a daily cautionary tale for...
When the 'he was molested as a baby boy polo g song' trend hit
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're sitting on the living room rug right now watching your son play with a wooden block. You've got your phone in your left hand. You're about to post that video of him smearing...
Where is Lil Baby From? Answering Your Kid's Hardest Questions
I was wrestling a shopping cart with a violently shaking left wheel through the Target clearance aisle, trying to decide if I really needed another wire basket to hold the junk I haven't sorted since Christmas, when my four-year-old yelled...
When To Have Baby Shower: A Mom's Blunt Guide To Timing It
I was standing in the middle of Aisle 4 at Target with a registry scanner gun in my hand, sweating profusely in a maternity cardigan that was clearly lying about being breathable, when my mom called to demand a date...
Exactly When Does Baby Acne Go Away? A Tired Parent's Guide
I was sitting cross-legged on our hideous beige living room rug at 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, wearing maternity sweatpants that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since my water broke. Leo was exactly three weeks old and...
When Do You Have A Baby Shower? A Dad's Guide to Timing
Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently sitting at your desk while the Portland rain hammers against the window, staring at a flashing cursor on a shared Google Calendar. You're trying to calculate the exact deployment window for a...
Who Determines the Sex of the Baby? The Honest Truth
Pushing a broom across a gravel driveway in mid-July is a fool's errand, but there I was, six months pregnant, trying to sweep up damp pink confetti from a gender reveal cannon that had just backfired all over my husband's...
Who Is Baby Gronk? (And Why My Toddler Is Retiring From Sports)
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, the baby was aggressively attached to my left boob, the glow of my phone screen was fully illuminating my double chin, and I was deep-scrolling through videos of a ten-year-old boy deadlifting weights...