Magazine

A vintage Beanie Baby sitting safely on a high shelf out of reach from a baby

A Note From The Future About That October 6 Beanie Baby Idea

Dear Marcus from six months ago, you're currently hovering your cursor over the "Buy It Now" button on eBay at 2:14 AM while your five-month-old is finally asleep after what felt like a system-wide hardware failure. You've just discovered that...

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Vintage October 30th Beanie Baby bat on a nursery shelf next to organic clothes

The exact october 30th beanie baby that broke my brain

I'm sitting on the cold linoleum floor of my laundry room in a nursing bra that hasn't seen the inside of a washing machine in at least three days, aggressively refreshing an eBay tab on my cracked iPhone with one...

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A vintage nineties plush toy sitting on a nursery shelf next to organic baby clothes

Dear past me, that vintage october 20th beanie baby is a trap

Listen, Priya from six months ago. You're sitting on the living room rug, staring at a crushed cardboard box that just arrived from your auntie in New Jersey. Inside is a pristine, tag-protected raccoon named Snoops. You're thinking it's incredibly...

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Vintage skeleton and dog plush toys sitting safely on a modern nursery shelf

Debugging the October 18 Beanie Baby Birthday Twin Trend

I was standing in the cramped, patchouli-scented aisle of a vintage shop on Hawthorne Boulevard, triumphantly holding a dusty plush skeleton from the year 2000. I thought I had just executed a brilliant parenting hack. My niece was about to...

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Mom holding a vintage green plush bear next to a baby nursery shelf

Why That Vintage March 17 Beanie Baby Belongs on a High Shelf

I was literally sitting on the living room floor, knee-deep in a mountain of unfolded toddler shirts and cardboard shipping boxes for my Etsy shop, when the front screen door slammed. My mom breezed into the house carrying a cloudy...

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Vintage plush toy sitting on a nursery shelf next to organic baby items

The Honest Truth About Finding A March 13 Beanie Baby For Your Kid

I'm sitting on my couch at two in the morning, bathed in the blue light of my phone, watching a twenty-three-year-old mother weep on her timeline because she finally found 'Celebrate' on a resale app. That's the specific vintage stuffed...

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Marcus playing acoustic version of lil baby gunna - close friends chords for his baby

Why I Learned Trap Music Guitar Chords for a Crying Infant at 3 AM

Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM, the relentless Portland rain is hammering against the nursery window, and you're standing in the middle of the room wearing boxer briefs, holding your dusty acoustic guitar like it's a...

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A worn vintage plush cat sitting on a high shelf out of reach of twin toddlers

The July 26 Beanie Baby Incident That Broke My Sanity

I'm currently on my hands and knees holding a pair of tweezers and a remarkably weak mobile phone torch in my mouth, desperately trying to extract a single plastic pellet from the gap between our original Victorian floorboards. Twin A...

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Dad looking confused while holding a vintage 90s turtle plush toy next to a baby

Troubleshooting The September 19 Birthday Twin Plushie Trend

I'll tell you exactly what not to do when you finally receive that crinkly, retro-smelling package from a vintage seller on the internet: don't immediately hand the twenty-six-year-old plush toy to your teething eleven-month-old. I made this exact logic error...

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