Magazine

Portland dad playing acoustic guitar while 11-month-old baby chews on a wooden toy

Debugging My 11-Month-Old Baby's First Guitar Playing Setup

Yesterday at exactly 4:13 PM, my daughter attempted to eat the low E string off my Martin acoustic dreadnought. I was sitting on the rug in our living roomβ€”which I keep at a very precise, data-backed 68.5 degrees for best...

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A baby pressing laptop keys while a tired dad drinks cold coffee

Surviving the Inevitable Baby Keyboard Smash in My Home Office

"asdfghjkl;'" was the exact, unedited message I sent to my accountant last Tuesday at 9:14 AM. I'd love to claim it was an avant-garde statement about the futility of modern tax law, but the truth is considerably shorter, louder, and...

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A stressed mother holding a cup of coffee while looking at messy toys on a rug

The Viral Fidget Toy You Should Never Give Your Teething Infant

It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday and I was wearing my husband Dave's faded college sweatshirt that smells faintly of old garlic, desperately sweeping my hand across our living room rug like a frantic human metal detector. I was...

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Toddler playing with wooden toys on the living room floor

Raising a Gemini Baby Without Losing Your Mind Or All Your Friends

"Don't tell Mr. Henderson that his grass looks like garbage. I don't care if that's what Daddy said in the kitchen, you keep your mouth shut because your wife is my friend and I've to sit next to her at...

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Baby chewing on a wooden instrument surrounded by organic cotton blankets

What the Clairo Nepo Baby Drama Taught Me About Parenting

The internet wants you to believe the only way to give your kid a leg up in life is to be a multi-millionaire marketing executive who plays golf with record label CEOs. I know this because at 6:13 AM this...

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Sarah holding a lukewarm coffee mug looking stressed at her laptop while researching safe organic cotton baby clothes and hat

My Strange Internet Rabbit Hole: The Beanie Baby Payhip Search

I was standing in the kitchen at 11:42 AM on a Tuesday, wearing my husband's college sweatpants that have a mysterious bleach stain on the left knee, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved three separate times since...

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A tired mom sitting in a Chicago living room looking at commercial warehouse zoning laws on a laptop.

Dear past Priya: The Mattel distribution delusion was a mistake

I'm staring at a municipal zoning map of Cook County at three in the morning with half a cold samosa in my hand, trying to figure out if our detached garage qualifies as a commercial loading dock. This is where...

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A toddler holding a soft stuffed dog while sitting on a playmat

The Truth About Character Stuffed Animals And Nursery Aesthetics

My heel just found the exact center of a plastic cartoon pup's hard little nose at six in the morning, and as I hopped around the dark living room stifling a scream so I wouldn't wake the baby, I realized...

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Wooden building blocks scattered across a Kianao organic cotton playmat.

Spielsachen 4 Jahre: The Truth About Toys For Four-Year-Olds

The most successful grift in the modern parenting industrial complex is the word "educational" slapped on a box containing a plastic, seizure-inducing nightmare. You know the exact toy I'm talking about. It’s usually shaped like a dog or a heavily...

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